Diary
42 Comments

Calgon, Take Me Away…

So yeah.  What I said about having no blog-worthy happenings at the pool this summer?  Scratch that.

AHEM.

I think my 2-year-old turned 3 yesterday.  Nevermind that her birthday is in October.  She has suddenly become that independent, defiant, limit-testing, 3-year-old that I’ve been dreading.  I’ve been through it twice already with my two older kids.  I knew it was coming.  But I was hoping I had a few more months before reality set in.

Yesterday at the pool she started doing the exact OPPOSITE of everything I told her to do — with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her blue eyes, no less.  And as the afternoon wore on, she became increasingly brazen in her defiance.  In the course of two hours she did the following, in this order:

  • ran in the opposite direction when I told her to come to me, saying adamantly, "No. I not comin’."
  • proceeded deeper into the pool until the water was up to her little
    freckled nose, grinning and looking at me the whole way, until I
    finally went over and drug her out…
  • and then she did it AGAIN.
  • BIT her sister on the cheek when C was trying to get her to come back to shallow waters, which incited a scream from C that silenced the pool and brought everyone’s attention to their little altercation.  (And I am only SLIGHTLY exaggerating about the pool being silenced.  I swear there was a momentary lull in the noise level.)
  • jumped into 6 inches of water and landed on her back multiple times, with
    me saying between each jump, "Don’t jump in there.  Come to the deeper
    water."
  • intentionally went under the yellow caution tape blocking off a construction zone immediately after I said, "Don’t go in there!  Don’t go IN THERE!"
  • AND THEN proceeded to run through it when I tried to grab her.  That time I gave her a swat on the bottom, right there in front of God and country and the entire swim club.  I just couldn’t let one more thing go unpunished.
  • got back in the pool after I had dried her off and told her she was done for the day and that we were going home. (This was done behind my back as I was gathering up our belongings, AND DURING ADULT SWIM, no less.  I didn’t know she was in there until I heard the lifeguards all whistling at her to get out, which only added insult to injury.)

The list goes on, but fortunately my memory does not.

Meanwhile, her 5-year-old sister decided to befriend Richard Gere, who happened to be in the pool with his daughter.  Okay, so it wasn’t Richard Gere, but he could have passed for Richard Gere, or Richard Gere 20 years ago. 

I tried to get her away from him several times, but she kept going back over (under the guise of playing with his daughter) and barraging him with questions, much to his amusement. 

Yes, I know.  We need to have a good hard talk about being too friendly to strangers.  Particularly STRANGE HANDSOME MEN IN SWIM TRUNKS AT THE LOCAL SWIMMING HOLE!

I would have been more insistent that she leave him alone except that was when R was reaching the height of her naughtiness, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her for a second.

I think the poor guy could see I had my hands full.  In fact, I’m quite sure he was laughing at me.  Fortunately he seemed harmless enough.  And, as my friend Sarah remarked as she watched the whole debacle unfold, "at least she has good taste."

Well, yeah, she IS my daughter, after all.

By the end, I was even getting sympathetic stares from the other mothers.  I decided to leave while I still had a shred of dignity left.  I started to gather up my things, but my son and his friend were nowhere to be found.  Murphy’s Law at work!

Meanwhile, C was back over at the side of the pool harassing Richard Gere, and R was trying everything she could to get back in the pool.  At my wits end by this point, I grabbed both girls and marched over to the playground, where all the kids migrate during Adult Swim.  Naturally it is at the opposite side of the pool from where I like to perch.  I finally located the boys, dragged them off the playground (figuratively speaking, of course!), and started towards the car. 

As if I hadn’t been through enough, on our way out, C started crying that she had lost her shoes.  I asked her where she had left them, and she said in the bathroom, where she had changed into her swimsuit earlier.  She went in to get them as I waited impatiently with the rest of my entourage, but alas, the shoes were long gone.  Fortunately we discovered them on the Lost and Found table on the way out.

We piled into the car and headed for home.  R was asleep before we got out of the parking lot.  Note to self: baby still needs to nap.

Join the Conversation

42 thoughts on “Calgon, Take Me Away…

  1. God love you. I am tired just ready your entry. R needs a nap and Jo-Lynne needs some Pinot. Hope you have a better day!

  2. I feel for you! I have a feeling that my youngest (she’s almost 2) will be like your youngest. I need to start praying now :). Have you tried time out with her at the pool? My friend does that with her son a lot (who’s 3) and it usually takes one time in time-out (per trip to the pool) for him to get it. He hates having to sit there by himself while everyone else is having fun.

  3. And you were still willing to go with me and my 4 kids to the pool today. You are such a trooper. No wonder its raining – someone is sending you a message to stay home and not attempt the pool with 7 kids.
    LOL.

  4. is it a lunar phase or something? my kids are going crazy too….but you sound like you have much more patience than me, bless your heart. I have been losing my temper more than I should.

  5. There must be something in the air, because I’m thinking the same thing about my two year old. He’s had way too many skipped naps lately and WAY too many melt down moments. My constant quandry is when it’s okay to discipline in public. Living in SoCal certainly doens’t help on that one…

  6. Yes! If baby didn’t still need to nap, all hope would be lost. Around these parts, anyway. Sorry for your day – I’m having a lot of those around here too and I feel your pain.

  7. I think you need something stronger than Calgon! The pool stresses me out too, though seeing Richard Gere(Officer and A Gentlemen) might soothe the stress. Hang in there.

  8. I tried to skip our two year olds nap one day last week and it was not a pretty sight! I decided come hell or high water that kid was getting a nap every day!

    Sorry your day was such a hectic one!

  9. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who gives my kid the occasional swat on the bottom in public. It don’t like doing that, but sometimes you just have to.

  10. Oh my goodness! I don’t think I would have had even a shred of dignity left. Why does it all happen in one day? So glad you (and kids) lived to tell the tale. 🙂 Hopefully you rewarded yourself with a bottle, I mean glass, of wine when kids were in bed. 🙂

  11. Wow! You have described my life with my 3 girls perfectly. My 2-1/2 year old is exactly the same, but she’s been doing it since she turned 2. I’m petrified of 3, because 3 is worse than 2. Thanks for making me feel not so alone!

  12. I don’t know how it happens. They go from that sweet, innocent baby to THIS! Ugh! We went through it with my daughter too although she did wait for her 3rd birthday. When I talk about it I say that the transformation happened the very next day after her 3rd birthday! Instantly! Looking at the comments it looks like we are not alone! The only good news is that there is an end to the phase – light at the end of the tunnel! I hope you get there quickly!

  13. Ugh, I hate three, and I say that with as much grinning as possible, but seriously, this three thing has really thrown me, since I’d always heard about how awful two was. The twinkle in the eye do exactly what I said not to do thing? I don’t like that. And because of it I have yet to brave the pool on my own with both kids. Don’t think it will be happening this summer, not with a three year old in tow.

  14. Lawsy, I need a nap just reading (and remembering my own experiences similar) all that!

    Feet up…phone off. Nap for all today!
    (Or is that too wishful thinking?)

  15. If I lived closer I would be over in 5 with a bottle of wine or two. Yikes! I hate days like those. Makes ya want to lay in bed with your head under the covers. Gotta commend your patience though! Hopefully next pool day will be more relaxing!

  16. I know how you feel. My son who will be 3 at the end of September is doing everything and anything to get a rise out of me. The 3’s are most harder than the 2’s and I’m not looking forward to it!

  17. You’re my church. Ha. Y’know how you go to church and your pastor just seems to be talking right to you!?! My day has been awful today! I was so thankful when husband came home and understood that I needed a mommy moment. I’m hiding upstairs with my computer… and B.R.E.A.T.H.I.N.G. peanut butter. That’s right… the five seconds I wasn’t looking and my son was shoveling peanut butter into his mouth as fast as he could. Then when I came strolling in… he started to try and fling it off his hands… thus covering my kitchen… my floors, my cupboards… and the only great pair of jeans that I own (also the most expensive). 😛 If I drank more… I think I’d so need one right now. 😛

  18. Whew! I’m tired just reading that post! Do ya think that this behavior kicks in around the time most moms have decided to have another one, before they realized how full their hands would be? hee hee hee

  19. Oh, if only I could have been there with you to witness all of this. I would have loved to see RG as well. That would have made it worth my while. I LOVED this post…sorry this was quite comical…only because I’ve been there done that…got that t-shirt! It wasn’t funny at that time though!

  20. Holy Cow! Sounds like you were busy!! It also sounds like you are living my life with my 2 1/2 year old (3 in october) I swear that three is more TERRIBLE than 2!!

  21. I always say, there are days when “the stars are in alignment and everything goes according to plan.” This was NOT one of those days! On days like that, you can find me pouring myself a nice glass of chardonnay. But, the good news is that tomorrow will probably seem really easy compared to today! 😉

  22. With my first daughter I thought something was wrong with her because two was so much fun. Everyone talked about the terrible twos, but I thought they were just over reacting. Then the terrifying threes hit. I thought one of us wasn’t going to make it to four. I remember being at the gym with her and she threw the temper tantrum of a lifetime when I tried to drag her out from under a table in the play area.

    One afternoon when my younger daughter was three I took the girls to the pool and she was being a real knot head. I tend to get really quiet when I am frustrated with them. I had her in the dressing room and had said for like the 5th time she needed to sit down and put on her pants while I was trying to get dressed. One of the other moms walked by and said “You are so patient. No way I could have been that nice for this long. Good job.” She made my day that day. Reading your story from today I thought about how that mom must have felt. There is no way I could have patiently handled what you did today. Good job.

  23. Well, don’t we all have days like this? And me? In a similar situation. My 14-month old is already acting 2. Not. Good.

    Hope your day got better…

  24. Sounds like a horrible day to me. Aren’t you glad it’s over? ha ha

    I think we’ve all had those days.

    I remember once when I was about ten, I was convinced Don Henley from the Eagles was sitting next to me on a flight from Omaha to LA. I think I whistled Desperado the entire flight, the guy must’ve thought I was crazy.

  25. That, is my worst nightmare… and I only have 1 toddler!

    I do have to applaud the swat on the bottom for going into the construction zone though. It’s just too dangerous, and needs an immediate consequence, even though I’m sure I would have been horrified none-the-less.

    Sounds like you had a tough day, but you handled it like a pro. You deserve some especially good coffee!

  26. I feel you! Sounds like my Sophie. She tests me over and over and over! I was telling a friend a story much like yours the other day (only it happened at home thank goodness!)and she said, “Well, at least you were consistent.” So keep showing her who’s boss!

  27. I feel you! Sounds like my Sophie. She tests me over and over and over! I was telling a friend a story much like yours the other day (only it happened at home thank goodness!)and she said, “Well, at least you were consistent.” So keep showing her who’s boss!

  28. I feel you! Sounds like my Sophie. She tests me over and over and over! I was telling a friend a story much like yours the other day (only it happened at home thank goodness!)and she said, “Well, at least you were consistent.” So keep showing her who’s boss!

  29. I feel you! Sounds like my Sophie. She tests me over and over and over! I was telling a friend a story much like yours the other day (only it happened at home thank goodness!)and she said, “Well, at least you were consistent.” So keep showing her who’s boss!

  30. I feel you! Sounds like my Sophie. She tests me over and over and over! I was telling a friend a story much like yours the other day (only it happened at home thank goodness!)and she said, “Well, at least you were consistent.” So keep showing her who’s boss!

  31. I feel you! Sounds like my Sophie. She tests me over and over and over! I was telling a friend a story much like yours the other day (only it happened at home thank goodness!)and she said, “Well, at least you were consistent.” So keep showing her who’s boss!

Want More?