Diary
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Elmo Has Left The Building

I daresay that Elmo is very possibly THE most annoying character in children’s entertainment today.  Do I hear an Amen?

There is this most annoying toy that my children love.  (Why don’t they ever fall in love with the quiet toys?)  It’s a little hand-held “See N Say” toy that sings the Elmo theme song.  You know the one I’m talking about — La-la-la-la!  La-la-la-la!  Elmo’s World!

The sad part is, I have only myself to blame.  Yes, I bought this toy and brought it into our home and gave it to my youngest daughter in her Easter basket last spring.  I have regretted that purchase ever since.  I never imagined that all three of my children would find this toy so highly entertaining, and hardly a day goes by that I am not tortured with that high-pitched voice owned by none other than America’s favorite muppet.

I finally had my fill of this irritating toy and decided it was time to put Elmo out to pasture.  So one afternoon in a fit of impatience, while the children were in another room unaware of the fate becoming their beloved Elmo, I tossed him in the kitchen trashcan.  The lid made a satisfying snap of finality as it closed with Elmo inside, and I smiled smugly as I anticipated my glorious Elmo-free days and weeks ahead.

I went back to making dinner, and a few minutes later I paused to step on the pedal that opens the lid of the trashcan and tossed in an empty tomato sauce can.

Thud. (The can hit the refuse in the top of the trashbag.)

Snap.  (The lid of the trashcan snapped shut.)

Then.  La-la-la-la!  La-la-la-la!  Elmo’s World!

The toy is haunted, I swear.

I giggled to myself at the irony of my attempt to rid our home of the offending muppet and continued with my chopping.  Soon Elmo was forgotten.  I finished dinner preparations and left the kitchen.

A few minutes later I returned to set the table and absentmindedly tossed a few pieces of junk mail into the trashcan.

Thunk.

Snap.

La-la-la-la!  La-la-la-la!  Elmo’s World!

Crap.  Stop that.  SHHHH.

Too late.  My 2-year-old appeared from around the corner.

“Melmo?” she inquired, looking up at me with trusting blue eyes.

“Um.  Yeah.  Go look in the toy box.” I silently asked forgiveness for my deceit as she toddled out of the kitchen and into the playroom in search of the elusive Elmo.

Furtively, I grabbed the trashbag out of the trashcan, tied it up, and hauled it out to the laundry room before one of my older children happened by.  They wouldn’t be as easily distracted.

As I dropped the trashbag on the laundry room floor and went to close the door, I heard a muffled, La-la-la-la!  La-la-la-la!  Elmo’s World! from behind the closed door.

I stifled another giggle and skittered back to the kitchen to put a fresh garbage bag into the trashcan and set the table for dinner.

Later that night, I was in the laundry room folding clothes when Husband came in to take out the garbage.  He picked up the trashbag and once again we were afflicted by Elmo’s serenade.

Husband looked quizzically at the bag and then to me.

“Don’t even ask,” I responded dryly.

I am pleased to report that’s the last we’ve heard from Elmo.

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36 thoughts on “Elmo Has Left The Building

  1. I know what you mean! We had an Elmo guitar given to my daughter (who is now 6) by my childless brother-in-law when she was little. That was EASILY the most annoying toy we’ve ever owned – it played 3 different songs, and at the end sang “Jam with Elmo” and you could make it say “J-J-J-Jam with Elmo” and when the batteries were dying, it would say “Jaaaam with Eeeeellllmoooo.” My 4 year old son loved it, too. We saved it and recently gave it BACK to my brother in law and his 10 month old daughter – we waited until she was old enough to really love it so they couldn’t trash it – and we included fresh, brand new batteries!

  2. sometimes I’ve been known to “accidently” drop the toy into the bathtub while the child bathes, oops 😉 it works with the noise thingy!

  3. I’ve had my share late night trash runs to get rid of annoying toys. The worst is when you think you’ve gotten rid of something only for one of your kids to discover it in the trash. They are heartbroken and I’m embarrased. I’m now more sneaky and more careful about my disposal process! I’m glad your house is quieter!

  4. During a somewhat misqueued religious awakening in her 40s, my own dear mother furtively threw away our entire collection of Beatle’s albums ON VINYL.

    She has rue’d the day on numerous occasions and we do NOTHING to help her feel better about it. These things have a way of coming back to haunt one. Is it too late to get Elmo back?

    I’m just sayin’, hon.

  5. good for you! I say, out with the old and…..well, I guess just out with the old in this case 😉 You certainly don’t want to bring in anything new! Shudder!

  6. 😛

    is your heart made of ICE, woman?! how could a baby say “Melmo” and it not force you to get the toy out of the trash in like 2 seconds (after her back was turned, of course)?? well, then, i say this never having heard the awful toy myself, so take it for what it’s worth 😛

  7. I’m laughing so hard for you have done what all mom’s would love to do but have no courage to do it…….your like a super hero now…lol.

  8. You kill me, you really do. Pure ingenious! Should we look at you for some of the unsolved homisides/cold case files around our country? You did it with such skill. I think you even got a buzz off of it, as some serial killers.
    Oh, I am so laughing. We are all guilty.

  9. While I feel just a tad sad at Elmo’s plight, I admire your determination. Yeah, his days were numbered, it was time. Throwing annoying toys away gives such a sense satisfaction!!

  10. We had the exact same toy and just got rid of it. Sent it to an unknowing family member who needed a more exciting life! haha!

    Seriously, we kept saying the thing was possessed! CALLING GHOSTHUNTERS–heehee!

  11. I just used to take the batteries out of stuff and tell the kids the “voice” was used up but they could still play with the character itself. It worked until they figured out the battery part. :v)

  12. Satisfaction! My boys have a Blue’s Clues radio with the original Steve. It is probably seven years old and all of my children love it. My mother has given me strict instructions not to throw it away until none of them will pick it up to play with it anymore. I may have teenagers and still have that thing around. Hmmm, maybe I’ll take it to Mom’s house.

  13. LOL ! Just this morning my 8.5 year old DD asked me why I wouldn’t take the Blues Clues “radio” down from my closet. It is THE most annoying toy and it has worked non-stop on the same batteries that came with it since she was THREE. It is spooky.

  14. Oh, if my children had any idea how many times I’ve rid the house of annoying toys…

    Right now there is a little Dora doll stashed upstairs that better watch her back. If I hear hello in Russian one more time, she will meet her demise.

  15. Oh too funny! I don’t much about Elmo b/c my kids never got into Sesame Street for some odd reason. BUT Barney! Oh my!! My oldest got a Barney that sang and never really played with it, so it stayed in the toy basket for years. Then my middle son happened upon it and his LOVE of all things prehistoric…………well, Barney got to sing! ROFL Now my daughter has Barney and he sits quietly. LOL

    I’ve never really tossed out a toy that they really seem to be into. But I do manage to ‘hide’ it till they forget about it, and so do I.

    Goodbye Melmo!

  16. Yall are cracking me up. Beth – Are you kidding? They have so many friggin’ toys. No, they’ve never missed him.

    And yes, my heart is made of stone. You should see how quickly I get rid of my daughter’s artwork. I’m brutal.

  17. Ever since I read the Velveteen Rabbit, I cannot throw a stuffed animal away. I have issues for sure. I am happy pass them along to another child though! We just put Elmo in a box to go to a Toy and Clothing Swap in the Spring.

  18. Elmo is very annoying and you did the right thing. It is hard to believe a few years ago people where fighting to have this annoying toy. I wonder how many people are regretting it now.

  19. Classic! We can tolerate Elmo here most of the time. When my oldest was a baby, my brother gave us the Sesame Street atom. This had several of the Muppet voices that would turn on when nobody was in the room with it (talk about spooky). Thank goodness these days most toys have on/off switches.

    In our house the one hubby and I do not like is Barney and Dora.

  20. I love that you have your own domain now – I can actually get to site anytime I want now instead of only 1 out of every 10 times I try! I may have been the only one, but this momma is happy. 🙂

    You’re only mistake with Elmo was that you documented it so that your children can show it to their psychiatrists when they are grown. he he!

  21. I’m with on Elmo and the kids’ artwork. I mean, we only have so much room on the fridge. Now they’re trying to take over the walls. Yeesh!

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