I’m the proud new owner of…

a Motorolla RIZR (pronounced riser).

After a couple of trips to the cellular store, one returned Samsung Blast, and some highly scientific internet research, (how did we live without Google?) I determined that the RIZR meets all my qualifications for a cell phone — cute, PINK, good voice quality, and affordable, especially after the guy knocked $30 off the discounted price and threw in a free car charger because I just missed the “no activation fee” deal they had going last week.

How is that for a run-on sentence?

My 5-year-old daughter has tried to claim it as her own (after all, it’s PINK!) but I’ve threatened her within an inch of her life if she so much as touches it.  (That may sound severe, but she is the klutziest kid on the block, and I know if I let her within two yards of it, she will find a way to drop it on the floor.)

Now I get to spend the afternoon with the Owner’s Manual, beating my head against the wall, learning a new interface and loading my address book.  Which might be kinda fun, except did I mention that my mouth still hurts constantly?  How do people live with chronic pain?  HOW?  In all seriousness, if you are such a person, my heart goes out to you.