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In The Headlines

As I was waiting in line at the supermarket one day last week, I found myself drawn to the headlines on the periodicals that typically grace the shelves of the checkout line.  It’s like an accident scene.  You just can’t help but slow down and look.  Can someone please enlighten me as to how these syndications stay in business?

The topic of several  of the less respectable gossip rags (that’s opposed to the respectable gossip rages, ahem) focused on the curiosity surrounding Angelina Jolie’s sudden weight loss after having twins just a few weeks ago.

The cover of Star Magazine proclaims in large hot pink lettering: "Angie’s Secret Tummy Tuck!"

There was another similar story on the cover of Us Weekly that I can’t find right now. 

Um.  Personal chef?  Personal trainer?  Nanny?  Plastic surgeon?  Is this really a mystery?  Are we supposed to be SURPRISED that a Hollywood movie star has a tummy tuck after the birth of twins? 

Then there is the ever present Prevention magazine.  Every month, without fail, there is a gloriously happy and confident woman pictured on the front and the headlines promise to tone the tummy in just 5 minutes a day and provide the secrets to heart health. Every month.  The same articles.  Over and over and over. 

Is this NEWS?  Seriously?

And yet, people pay good money for this stuff.  Perplexing.

What’s your favorite newsstand headline?  Which ones suck you in every time even though you know better?

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13 thoughts on “In The Headlines

  1. Debbie – Glad you tested it out so I don’t have to! 😉

    Elaine – Hey now. Jen’s MY BFF. You better back off. 😉

    June – The McDonalds of news. SNORT. Great analogy.

    Megan – I admit to perusing People whenever in the nail salon, but I stop short of purchasing my own copy. It’s definitely my favorite of the junk mags.

  2. My Mom use to yell at us if we look, touched or talked about those magazines.. lol its funny what sticks w/ you.. so when I am in the check out line I look at them out of the tops of my eyes and hope my mom doesn’t see me! She lives 1.5 hours away :-P. But I dont really follow most of that stuff.. but I do wonder how they stay in business.

  3. I’m a sucker for those magazines but these days get most of my “news” from popsugar. Way more timely. I’m just glad I don’t see the Cosmo headlines anymore. Try explaining “sexy moves in bed” to your 5 year old.

  4. I used to be hooked on those rags… not just the “in line looker” variety… I bought them. A few months back I saw a Dr. Phil (I swear I don’t watch normally but I occasionally catch one LOL!) where they were discussing the way that women in our country are percieved and how we have a lot to do with it. When we buy those magazines they keep making them and we end up with the trickle down effect on ourselves and our children. I have not bought one since. I don’t miss them and I hope that I am not the only one. If no one buys them they won’t make them anymore. The truth is I would way rather be looking at something else but that is what they put there… at eye level… in every lane!

  5. I’m always sucked by the promise of a “week’s worth of 5 minute dinners that are healthy and your kids and family will LOVE them.” NOT. First of all, half of the ingredients are things I do not keep on hand in the house, so 2 hours later and 100.00 later I finally have all of the ingredients and then 4 hours later my 9 year old is asking what the green flakes are and my husband is sheepishly asking if he can have some bread with the meal (i.e. this nasty junk didn’t fill me up so I need some carbs.)

  6. I have to admit I have to read the ones that have anything to do with Jennifer Aniston. Maybe because I wish she was my BFF and I just want to make sure she’s okay… ; )
    {cause those rags are really gonna tell me, right?} HA!

  7. You know, I have read that Prevention article when I’ve been in a slow line. It has definitely taken at least five minutes and my stomach is NOT toned. This is not truth in journalism.

  8. Anything with Sarah Jessica Parker. I love her. And we are the same age and have the same hair. So I feel like we are the same person. Other than 9 dress sizes and about 50 million dollars.

    Your earlier commentor makes a good point. We should boycott these stupid magazines. They don’t make us feel any better. They are the McDonald’s of news.

  9. I am always drawn to look at the pictures of stars. Amazing how they can catch them in the worst possible moments. And yet, I like that.

    Don’t know if you ever saw Men In Black – but I love that they used the tabloids for the “real news” of what’s going on – all the alien stories are “true!”

  10. People Magazine. My mom gets it and I read it when she is done… Rarely do I buy magazines but I do subscribe to Fitness, Self and Philadelphia Mag.

  11. You know the ones I always hate? The ones that speculate pregnancy based on an ill-flattering photo. Can you imagine?!? First, someone takes an icky photo of you. Then, they slap it on the front of a magazine for the whole country to see. And, to top it off, they have the chutzpah to opine that you look like you’re pregnant when you’re not. I always feel so bad for the celebrities who are singled out that way. That’s just wrong.

  12. I’ve stopped getting most magazines unless they pertain to the home because they ALWAYS have the same things every year. And you’re right, of course Angelina looks good, each of her kids probably has their own nanny and she can spend the money and time to take care of herself, unlike the rest of us who have to make dinner with a child hanging off of our leg and can’t even fold laundry before the next load goes in.

    I do admit to looking at the “STARS WITHOUT MAKEUP!” article in one of those magazines yesterday at the grocery checkout, but I would not buy any of those.

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