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Why You Should Never EVER Take a 2-Year-Old to a Professional Ball Game

So on Saturday, I got home from my day alone at the mall at 5:10.  My husband and kids were literally in our other car with the motor running, buckled in, waiting for me to arrive.  (We were supposed to leave for the game at 5:00, and I had agreed when I left that morning to be home well before that.  Needless to say, when my husband called at 4:40 and I was still in Nordstrom making a purchase, 30 minutes from home, he was not amused.)

I got home, ran inside, kicked off the ridiculous heels I had been wearing all day, put on capris and flip flops, and got back in the car.  We departed at 5:15.

For some reason that I cannot imagine, I decided to bring our 2-year-old with us to the Phillies game instead of hiring a babysitter.  I know it sounds insane, but it galls me to drop $50 on an evening to take the other 2 kids to a ballgame.  If I’m going to drop $50 on a sitter, I want a date.  That means NO KIDS.  But hubby had already mentioned the game to the older kids before I had a chance to make my case, so it was too late to back out on taking them.  And I never got around to securing a sitter for the 3rd, so we just piled everyone into the car and went.

We got to the stadium in record time, got settled in our seats, and before the game even started, my 2-year-old was acting up and making the people in front of us miserable.  We kept trying to contain her and keep her happy, but she has a mind of her own and a way of personifying the "terrible twos" — which I always thought was a misnomer until I had her — and finally, I got fed up.

I hauled her out of the stands, walked all the way up the stairs, past all the patrons sitting in their seats waiting for the game to begin, got to the top, looked down and saw that my t-shirt was yanked all the way down so that my entire left b@@b was showing.  Thank goodness for a full-coverage bra at least.  I knew at that point I was NOT returning to my seat.

I got out into the open area with all the food vendors, and put her down, but she was not amused.  She wanted her daddy.  So I called her daddy.  And I calmly informed him that I was not returning to our seats, so what would he have me do. 

Knowing it was fully my fault that she was even there (he had been telling me to call a sitter all week), and also knowing that I had just had an entire day to myself, I couldn’t be mad at my husband.  I tried to stay calm and come up with a reasonable solution.  I didn’t want to drag the other kids out of the game, but what was I going to do with this stubborn child for the next three hours!?

We wandered around for a while, with her screaming for her daddy, no less.  I rewarded her with an ice cream cone (and we wonder why she’s a tyrant) and after she made a royal mess of that, we discovered a playground inside the stadium.

I swear I saw a bright light and heard angels singing.

Once we entered the playground area, she was a different child.  I found a bench, and she found the red slide, and we were both as happy as clams for the next hour.  By that time, my husband and kids were getting tired, and they were happy to join us. 

At the bottom of the sixth, we packed it up and left.  For my husband and son, the die-hards, it was hard to leave before the end of the game, but we all agreed we had about had enough.  And we learned a crucial lesson.  No kids under five to the ball game.  EVER.  AGAIN.

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31 thoughts on “Why You Should Never EVER Take a 2-Year-Old to a Professional Ball Game

  1. Aren’t the two’s fun? I had a similar experience this morning with mine while dropping off her big sister for her first day of kindergarten.
    I’m sorry you had such a bad experience! Just know that you are not alone. (and *hopefully* the terrible two’s only last one year!)

  2. Our rule has always been you have to be potty trained to go to the ball game. They’ve done pretty well. I am usually the one that gets tired of watching the game. Cotton Candy only keeps me amused for so long.

  3. I know how you feel. My husband was a professional baseball player for 10 years. He retired when my oldest was 6. Try sitting through 162 games a year. NOT FUN! Well, I really only sat through the home games which is about 81 games. Now, if our sons want to go to a game, I have my husband take them, and I stay home.

  4. Oh boy do I remember days/events like that! I am glad you survived. Sorry about the tee shirt situation. Since I am built like peter pan no one would have noticed if my shirt was off my entire body! Lucky you that you have items that need covering!

  5. I know all about that tshirt situation! We try to take our baby with us pretty much everywhere, so we’re in situations like this all the time where I’m playing with baby someplace else while husband is enjoying whatever the activity is. Oh well . . .

  6. I know all about that tshirt situation! We try to take our baby with us pretty much everywhere, so we’re in situations like this all the time where I’m playing with baby someplace else while husband is enjoying whatever the activity is. Oh well . . .

  7. I know all about that tshirt situation! We try to take our baby with us pretty much everywhere, so we’re in situations like this all the time where I’m playing with baby someplace else while husband is enjoying whatever the activity is. Oh well . . .

  8. I know all about that tshirt situation! We try to take our baby with us pretty much everywhere, so we’re in situations like this all the time where I’m playing with baby someplace else while husband is enjoying whatever the activity is. Oh well . . .

  9. Thank God – our team (minor league, MS Braves) has a grassy area! Tickets are super cheap ($5) and the girl can run around like a maniac and not disturb the die hard patrons who shell out bigger bucks for actual seats!

  10. I am printing this out to have my husband and his parents read. We are heading to visit the out-laws and they want to take our boys almost 5 and just 1 to a game. I think they are nuts! Mind you if we went I know I would be the one stuck trying to keep the little one content and not screaming in the heat. I now know I am definitely not going.

  11. Oh my I feel for you. We are regulars at the ball game and have been since my 5 year old was 5 months old. I too have been caught with my shirt down, cutting up hot dogs with my fingers (yuck) and hanging out at the play ground in the park. I do have to say (ok maybe brag just a little) that my kids 5 and 1 1/2 are seasoned baseball fans and are great at the games. I really think the fact that we have been taking them since they were little and my own little tricks I have learned over the years have helped. Rule number one for us… no sugar treats at the game. We learned the hard way. If you only go once you probably can’t get away with it but because we go at least 20 times a year the kids know no ice cream or cotten candy for this family. And thank goodness for the playground at AT&T in San Francisco. The kids love going out there and Daddy can still see the game.

  12. My father in law briefly considered taking my two year old boy to a Rockies game a few weeks ago while we were in Colorado–some good grandfather and grandson time, he though.

    I laughed. Loud and long.

  13. The playground in Citizen’s Bank Park is wonderful. Unfortunately it’s right by our seats and we need to pass it on the way in. I have a feeling that as Aubryn gets older, we will be spending more and more time there. My hubby has season tickets and thinks that the games are good “family events.”

  14. The going rate for babysitters is amazing/disgusting.

    We have a minor league team here and there’s a playground at the stadium too. Not that we’ve been there since Ladybug was born last year. But momma’s gotta know these things, right?

  15. Well, now you know. And hey, I’m proud of you for taking the other kids, too. I would’ve just made a date out of it. 🙂

  16. omg, the horror of having your shirt pulled on so you are exposing more of your assets than you should be to a bunch of strangers. I’ve had my daughter lift up my shirt in a restaurant, and didn’t return to my seat. Hubby had it packed to go. All of it. The waitress was not impressed. Wow, babysitters want a small fortune nowadays, don’t they? I can remember getting $10 for the whole night and calling it good. Kinda reminds me of today, I have these jeans that ripped, so I made them shorts for around the house. It was so darn hot and humid up here I ran around to drive thru’s etc.. doing my errands. But then the gas gauge was marking and no full service stations around. Now these shorts as slituptothere if you know what I mean. I had my mom and daughter with me and without thinking got out to pump gas. It was windy and the wind was blowing just right showing more B@@ty than I was prepared to show. I wasn’t paying attention, intent on watching the gas meter. So when I finally get in the car, my mom was like “Hey Michele, why did those 2 guys who were leaving the parking lot turn their car around and park it facing you? Do you know them, because they sure looked like they knew you?” I remembered, and looked down. Um, yeah they must have loved the sight of a large blonde woman with her fuschia undies and booty hanging out. It finally clicked… and they were still there as I pulled out of the Cumby’s parking lot. I could have sworn I saw them smirking too. Lesson learned: shorts are now waiting for Friday’s trash pickup! Sorry to hear about your incident as well, but it was a funny read.

  17. Oh I am so sorry to read about your horrible time at the baseball game. If I lived near you I would watch your kids for way less than $50! I am surprised you didn’t get any cat calls while you were exposed!

  18. First off, YOU are hilarious! Love the way you tell a story. And, yes it’s happened to me, too! Not the ball game, but being exposed in public. I was hauling my 2 year old son out of the lazy river at our local waterpark. We had to wait a (brief!) moment for my friend and her son to also make their escape, and my son was getting very pushy/pully in my arms. All of the sudden, whooops! There went the top to my swimsuit. I freaked for a half a second, covered up, looked around to see if anyone saw, and turned on my heel in the other direction!!!!! Ugh. . .

  19. Do I feel you pain? Oh yes! We too sit through many baseball games but in TAIWAN! I have 3 boys aged 4 and under. Some days it is torture, some days it is a nice break from our stark apartment here. At least when we go people are busy oo-ing and aw-ing over their blonde hair and I get a minute to relax. We make it until the 4th inning and then pack it in. You made it until the 6th! A great accomplishment.

  20. I am so relieved to hear that other people’s two year olds also act like, uhm, they are TWO! After reading this, I feel like I can take a deep breath and just relax a little. Like when we are too early for swimming lessons, and he is yelling that we are NOT early, and it’s time to go in the pool, RIGHT NOW!

    (It’s the (Public) meltdowns that make me cringe the most.)

    Thanks for having a kid that is just like all others at this age. And thank you so much for sharing it.

  21. Ballparks these days have everything, don’t they? Wish they had nurseries – wouldn’t that be perfect? Sounds like Mama rescued the evening with her quick thinking, though, and I’m sure most of the fans who saw the wardrobe malfunction also saw the two year old and politely looked away thus preserving your dignity. I know I would have, because that kind of stuff happens to me all the time.

  22. You were bold to take her to a ball game and I see you learned your lesson. It’s hard not to want all members of the family to participate in family outings, but it sometimes is better for everyone’s sanity to leave the under 5 kids at home. I understand totally what you went thru it has happened to me more than once. Thanks for sharing and letting us know we all have a child who acts up once in a while.

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