I had a PT appointment at lunchtime today, so I had to wear workout clothes. It seemed unnecessary to change back into street clothes when I got home, but I did at least shower and do my hair and makeup, so I feel like this counts.
And isn’t my furry little companion just the cutest!???
I love these Metro Skinny Pants from Athleta. They’re like slim yoga pants turned up a notch. They have rear pockets and seaming down the leg for added detail.
I picked up the New Balance 1/2-Zip Thermal Fleece Running Top at Kohl’s because it looked warm and cozy, and the Sauconys are the sneakers I got last spring at a local running store when I started running again. They’re my most comfortable shoes at the moment.
In case you’re wondering how things went at PT, they went fine. My therapist was definitely surprised to see me back (the last time I saw her, she was treating me for plantar fasciitis on the other foot) but she seemed pleased with my progress and told me there’s no reason to be concerned at this point that my torn tendon isn’t healing properly. I want to be excited, but I am just feeling cautiously optimistic. I’ve been told I’m getting better too many times before, only to find myself worse off than I started, so I’ll just tread lightly for now. (Quite literally, in fact!)
I still wish I knew how I injured myself so I can prevent history from repeating itself, but I guess that will forever remain a mystery.
In the meantime, I can start weaning out of the brace slowly, as long as I wear shoes and boots that have some support. That should help add some variety to my 28 days of outfits!
In related news, I just want to tell you that the outpouring of love and support that I’ve received since posting “I Miss Me” last weekend has been completely overwhelming. It’s always a bit scary to put myself out there like that, and I never think to expect the kind of feedback that I get whenever I post something so vulnerable. It’s completely humbling.
In addition to the comments on that post and on my Facebook page, I have received numerous private emails from people with their stories and words of encouragement. I have sat here with tears in my eyes over the thoughtfulness and kindness of virtual strangers… although we know we’re not really strangers, don’t we?
Writing about my feelings must have been cathartic because I’ve been much better ever since. Not only have I put into place the plan I detailed in that post, but I also came to a rather obvious realization that has changed my attitude about my predicament.
I realized I was spending too much time dwelling on what was and what I miss that I can’t do anymore, rather than focusing on what I can do and what I have in front of me right now. When I drive down the roads I used to run, it’s so easy to start reminiscing about those runs and how they made me feel strong and free. When a song comes on the radio that I used to love to run to, it takes me back to that infamous runner’s high that I miss so much.
Rather than living in the present, I allowed myself to go back there mentally and feel sad about everything I feel that I’ve lost. It was such a blessing to be active and to be able to achieve what I did that it never occurred to me that dwelling on it was a bad idea.
I know this probably sounds super obvious, but it was a bit of an epiphany to me.
Once I realized what that was doing to my psyche, I started practicing a technique that has served me well over the years. It’s called “thought blocking.” Basically when you feel your mind going down a road that it shouldn’t, you stop it from moving in that direction and go a different way, focusing on something good and helpful.
For me, my music was intertwined with my running in a way that is hard to describe, but I’m actually beginning to be able to enjoy my music again because I’m not allowing it to dredge up memories that make me sad.
Here’s where I start to think I’m over sharing again. I hope I don’t sound like a total nut job! Suffice it to say, I’m feeling so much better.
I was also allowing myself to get depressed by thinking too far ahead and dwelling on what I’ll do if this tendon doesn’t heal or what other ridiculous injury might be in my future. As we plan our trip to Arizona, it’s easy to get frustrated by what I may not be able to do and what we might miss out on, but I’m trying to take one of my mother’s favorite sayings to heart and “not borrow trouble.” I won’t know what I can do until we get there, and for now, I just need to do my research and keep my options open. We will have fun whatever we end up doing.
I continue to get emails and words of encouragement that remind me that this is a season, and it will end. Whether it gets better or worse, I don’t know, but for now I am not letting myself think too far ahead or too far behind. I’m doing my best to focus on the present and enjoy it as much as I can.