What DON’T You Do?

I loved this post from Simple Mom.  People often ask me how I do it all, and I just have to laugh.  Trust me, I do NOT have it all together.  And I most certainly do not do “it all.”  No one does.  We make choices, and we all make time for what is most important to us.

Yes, I cook from scratch and grow a few herbs.  I make time for blogging and watching my favorite TV shows.  I run a blog design business and keep the household running (whether it’s running smoothly or not is another story.)  I put on makeup most days, but not all.  And sometimes not until after noon.

But here are some things I do not do.  What about you?  What don’t you do?

I don’t home school.

I don’t have pets.

I don’t scrapbook.

I don’t make jewelry.

I don’t garden.

I don’t exercise consistently.

I don’t make the most of my SLR or Photoshop.

I don’t knit or sew.

I don’t always get my laundry put away.

I don’t mistreat my house.

I don’t sprout my own wheat.

I don’t volunteer.

I don’t even clean my own house. Sure, I do a heckuvalot of straightening up and wiping of counters and sweeping of floors and washing of dishes, but ever since I started my blog design business, I’ve had the luxury of a professional cleaning service.  And I’m here to tell you, I’d sell my right arm and my handbag collection to keep her.

We women have a bad habit of comparing ourselves to others, but we need to remember that NO ONE does “it all” and we should never feel inferior to someone else because they do something we don’t do.  Can I get an Amen?

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30 Responses

  1. {smiling}

    You know what your post just made me think? Maybe when we think someone else does it all, they’re just doing things we’d like to do but aren’t…because we’re busy doing things THEY might like to do but aren’t.


    Great reminder post (a good one for ME to remember!!) 🙂

  2. Amen, sister! I don’t know anyone who can do it all and I think that is why this & Tsh’s post resonated with me so much. Blogging can give a false perspective on what all we do and not as much perspective on what we don’t do 🙂

  3. I recall someone pointing out to me that typically we compare someone else’s strengths with our weaknesses, and begin to feel inferior. Hopefully we all do SOMETHING well…but I thank you for reminding me that I don’t have to do EVERYTHING well. Or even attempt to do “it all.” With God’s grace, I hope to complete each day as well as I can!

  4. Amen – and thanks for the link 🙂

    Definitely don’t do it all here, although our cleaning help has left 🙁 as she got a full time job. Still have help with the ironing though (just dh shirts!)

    But I do the jewelery, photography, digi-scrapping, cooking, blogging, starting my own business.

    I don’t iron (see above), bake (though no excuse with my lovely new oven), exercise as much as I should, knit or sew.

  5. We DON’T do most of the same things. Alas, no design business so no housecleaner. And I do manage to exercise, but I let a lot of other things go. I’m hoping to spend a little more time at school this year, since three will be in classrooms and the other two hopefully will be able to control themselves for short snatches of time.

  6. I think if more women shed some light into all the stuff they don’t do, we wouldn’t feel so much pressure to do it all. So many people ask me how I do grad school and be a mom. Easy…my kid is in school almost every day! And I don’t work. I take one class at a time. My house is usually presentable, but there are definitely weeks when it gets pretty bad anad then I can’t take it anymore and we clean it all up. I do all my scrapbooking on Shutterfly now.

  7. Amen sister. You know what I think it is? We have a habit of only posting the “good” stuff on our blogs so that’s all people see. I know when people tell me that I’ve got it together, I laugh too. Then I look back to see how they came up with that and all they are seeing are the good stuff. Now I can’t say that’s going to change but behind the scenes there are days of chaos! Just like everybody else.
    Big hugs to you my friend.

  8. Great post for labor day! I often think back over the last ten years and wonder how I survived. I was definitely a subscriber to the myth! Here’s what I don’t do anymore:

    I don’t go to grad school. I’d like to start a doctoral program someday. It’s just not important right now.

    I don’t teach aerobics. I really miss this but I can run anytime.

    I don’t read for pleasure outside of vacation. I have a really long ‘to read’ list.

    I don’t wash my kitchen floor once a week and I’m ok with it.

    I don’t rush in to home remodeling projects.

    I don’t go to or host playgroup once a week.

    I don’t hang out with friends both weekend nights.

    I don’t volunteer as much of time at church or at school.

    Adding two kids, a dog and a house has certainly changed my priorities and how protective I am of my time. I try to remember a quote a heard about five years ago: ‘Women can have it all/ do it all, just not at the same time.’ There is a season for everything! Thanks for the reminder today!

  9. Great post….I must admit I was beginning to wonder how in the world you keep a household together with all of your other responsibilities. I still think that you do a whole heck of alot in one day. We all do though. I guess as moms we cannot help but have days full of all kinds of tasks and activities. The hubs and I had a scuffle just last night after he had the nerve to say that ‘he has to get up for a job tomorrow’ when I asked for help with some chores, and my response to him was ‘well, I have to get up for FIVE jobs tomorrow!’

  10. Well, what good are the handbags if you don’t have an arm? LOL!

    Did you have cleaning lady anxiety when she first came? I would love to have one but get really freaked out thinking about someone cleaning my house while I sit and do whatever. 1) because I’m afraid they’ll screw something up and 2) I grew up poor and feel like I would be acting high and mighty (even though I KNOW that’s not the case!) So…if you did have the anxiety how did you get over it? I need a counselor!

    Ok, what don’t I do? Well…I don’t have kids. I don’t iron. I don’t have to drive to work everyday.

  11. LOVED this post. It’s along the lines of Dr. Phil’s quote that we compare our private life with others’ public lives or something of that nature, don’t you think?

    Loved it. And if I get around to it, ahem, I would love to my own blog post about what I don’t do. 🙂

  12. What don’t I do?

    I don’t bake. I don’t sew. I don’t garden. I don’t remember my friends’ (or their kids’) birthdays. And the guilt is overwhelming at times. Thank you for sharing this post with us! It’s okay to not do stuff- who would have thought?

  13. Sarah, that reminds me! I don’t remember or acknowledge birthdays either. And I wish I were that kind of person. I also NEVER remember to sign my kids’ homework or help them with their projects until the last minute. I often forget to pack lunches and I’ve been known to miss events and even once the last day of school because I can’t seem to keep everything straight.

    Yes, the guilt. It is overwhelming for sure.

  14. Joanna, lol, I can’t say I really had any anxiety. It was kind of awkward at first, but I’ve had 3 cleaning women over the years, and each time the person and I really hit it off.

    It’s easier if you leave the house while they’re cleaning, but these days I’m usually here, but since I truly am working in my office most of the time, I don’t feel weird about it.

    She’s doing her job, and I’m doing mine. And I look at it this way – I’m providing her a job. She needs work; this is what she does; she’s good at it; she doesn’t mind cleaning like I do; and I’m able to do something else to help pay her to do what she does. So there’s nothing to feel awkward about when you look at it that way.

  15. That’s a fabulous way to look at it! I like it. I don’t think I could leave while they are at my house, though. First, I work at home and second a friend of mine had a housekeeper who was drinking his beer while she was there. Yipe!

  16. I definitely agree.

    I try not to think of what I can’t do so this isn’t just spilling out of me. Hmmm…let’s see…

    I don’t cook dinner because my husband is better at it and likes to do it.

    I don’t iron because I don’t feel the overwhelming need to make the time for it. If a load of clothes are left in the dryer too long then, maybe, an item or so that seriously need the ironing will get put on the ironing rack. Of course, that also means they won’t be ready to wear for at least a month.

    I don’t feel an obligation to ‘serve’ my children. Since 2 yrs old they have been taught in age appropriate ways the sense of responsibility towards self and others, especially when it comes to tidying up after themselves or helping to keep the house clean.

  17. love this post!!! i think we try to act like we are doing everything but we just cant there has to be a balance. i would trade alot of my favorite things for my cleaning lady too!!!

  18. I love this post. Lately I’ve been beating myself on the head mentally for “not” doing it all but heck I do quite a bit and the things I don’t do are by choice!!!! 🙂

  19. Amen from over here in Arizona!

    Let’s see.

    I don’t:
    * have pets.
    * use cloth diapers.
    * garden.
    * sew.
    * tweet regularly.
    * take my kids on “educational” field trips (zoos, museums, etc.).

  20. Exactly what I needed today! What I don’t do? right now, I don’t do much of anything except blog or read.

    Oh, wait. I do housework, but am not on top of it. Same with laundry. I do volunteer and crochet. Gosh, and sometimes I cook.

    Thanks, I do a lot more than I thought!

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