Diary
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Coffee Talk 05.31.20

Greetings on this last day of May! And what a month it’s been. Honestly, I’m trying to forget most of it.

There still has been no internment for Paul’s dad, and I’m not sure when that will be. The memorial service is definitely months away, given that our county is still in the red phase, and the yellow phase (which we will hopefully enter this Friday) still prohibits large gatherings.

And I still get really sad when I think about Ozzy… which is pretty much all the time. I keep wondering if I could have done more to keep him, waited longer, worked on more options for my asthma. I wake up thinking about him every morning, and so many things throughout the day remind me of him.

This is my obsessive personality rearing its ugly head. I know I need to let it go, but I just can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t how it was supposed to work out.

I know, some of you are probably thinking: It’s just a dog… especially considering some of the more serious events happening in the world right now. But we were so excited about him and loved him so much already, and we had envisioned him being in our family for a long time.

We did get to visit him this week — Caroline and I went over and spent a few minutes with him. He definitely remembered us, and it was really good to love on him and see him happy in his new home. Becca wasn’t quite ready yet, although now she’s asking when she can go.

Then, of course, there is so much going on out there. 

It’s incredibly upsetting to see the events that are unfolding around the country right now, and I feel so helpless to do anything about it.

In a way, it was almost bound to happen. Everyone is so on edge from the virus and the lockdowns, and we are so polarized politically. When I’m out and about, even though there’s a lot less traffic on the roads, people are driving erratically. People are slowly reaching a breaking point, and I’ve been saying it’s all going to come to a head at some point. And well, here we are.

I don’t care to debate hot button issues in public forums… unless, of course, it involves mom jeans or skirted bathing suits, so please do not use my comment section as a place to rant or pontificate. Let’s just agree to try to come together as human beings, listen to each other and try to see things from another’s perspective. We’ve come a long way, but there’s still a long way to go.

On a lighter note, my dad is visiting this weekend, and that’s been fun. We spent most of yesterday in the pool. I have a hilarious picture of him on our swan float, but I doubt he would appreciate me sharing that here… although it is so very tempting.

I also got some good pictures of Becca and Paul playing basketball, and there’s a great one of Caroline sipping her drink on the swan. My girls don’t appreciate me putting their bathing suit pictures on the blog or social media, so there are very few pictures of our pool fun that I an actually share here, but they will go into our family album.

Instead, I’ll share this one of me lounging poolside.

I swear, I did get in the water. There are just no pictures to prove it. There is, however, sunburn on my back to prove it. I thought I was being careful, but I guess I should have applied sunscreen sooner.

It’s another beautiful day here, and it will probably look much like yesterday, although my goal is to eat less and wear more sunscreen.

Yesterday, Caroline made cinnamon rolls and homemade pizza, and today she’s planning to make two pies, and she was discussing biscuits as well. I expanded my eating window (interment fasting lingo) so I could enjoy both meals with the family, and I ended up snacking a lot throughout the day.

It was worth it, but I’m feeling pretty gross this morning, so I’m planning to go for a walk and get back on my regular eating schedule. I also need to get back off the gluten; it definitely is not my friend, but it’s hard when a certain someone is always serving up something delicious.

Anyway that’s about it for me.

I hope you get some time today to relax or spend time with people who lift you up and make you happy. Stay well, and stay safe.

Join the Conversation

48 thoughts on “Coffee Talk 05.31.20

  1. I’m an over thinker and over analyzer so I can relate to your feelings about Ozzy. As far as the situation in our country, we can pray and that’s a lot. Have a wonderful Sunday.

  2. So sorry you’re still missing Ozzy. I can only imagine how difficult the whole situation has been. I find that when I’m obsessing practicing being in the moment is helpful for me. Caroline’s cinnamon rolls looked amazing. I made breakfast for my family and was seriously tempted to have a bit but I wasn’t actually hungry so I refrained. Hope you enjoy another beautiful day by the pool!

  3. Thanks for saying what so many of us are thinking. Wishing you a peaceful day with your family. 🌺

  4. Appreciate your thoughtful post today. You are absolutely correct in saying that people are reaching a breaking point with this. Having to deal with some non-Covid related health issues for the last 2 months has been exponentially stressful because no one wants to see you! I was refused service at a medical office because I had a fever from an infection! What? I think Stephanie’s suggestion of enjoying  and living in the moment is a good one to help us get a bit more centered in these crazy times. Keeping our country in my prayers.

  5. I could not resist all those goodies either. Eat good today but. Have pie. Enjoy your day. Stay safe.

  6. It has been a tough time for so many reasons. You summarized it very well. I have been saying to myself “it is what it is” to help me come to terms with changes at work that aren’t easy to adjust to…… It helps me from dwelling on how it used to be. I’m sorry about Ozzy. Enjoy your visit with your Dad and time in your backyard. Your pool looks lovely.

  7. I don’t know if you want to go that small but Yorkies are good for people with allergies.

  8. Thank you for your post.  I am so sorry that you have been struggling. You have had a lot of loss in a short time. And, being a dog lover, I understand your feelings about Ozzy. It’s not just your own disappointment but that of your kids too – which is the harder disappointment to bear.  Every time I think 2020 cannot get worse, it does. It feels like the plagues.  I hope that the start of June and summer brings some physical and mental rest to you and your family. xx

  9. There are so many difficult things right now, and it seems that every few days something new is added. Ozzy was such a cute and wonderful distraction from all of it, a bright spot, as well as just being a great addition to your family. The grief from having to give him up is very real and understandable. Hug ❤️

    Hoping for brighter days… for ALL of us 

  10. He is never “just a dog” or “just a cat”; he is a member of your family. I cannot imagine how hard this decision was to make, but you had to make it for your health. And you know he has a loving, furever family.
    These are hard, upsetting times, and we need to try to focus on the positive, on love and caring. For us that means enjoying, from 700 miles away, our new grandson (a week old today, born a month early.) We are planning on driving down at the end of June for a few days, and in the meantime, they are sending us photos, and they called on Facetime last week so we could see him. We would have been down there if there were no virus, but we need to be safe for them.
    Enjoy the day. Enjoy your dad and family time.

  11. I was just telling myself this morning that I need to “get back off the gluten”, it soooo messes with my head as well as other areas.   I’m hoping to get in a good walk today and soak up lots of Vitamin D.  
    Enjoy your day with your family and thanks for writing what many of us are thinking.   We are keeping our country in our prayers.  

  12. I don’t have asthma, but I do have allergies.  When you are ready, maybe consider an F1b doodle.  I was allergic to an F1 Bernedoodle, but not an F1b.  They are 75% poodle and 25% bernese mountain dog.  I would bet it is similar with a golden doodle.  I’m so sorry, that must have been incredibly hard to let her go!

    1. Yes, I wish I’d done more research. I read about the difference later. Although honestly, I still probably would have gone for Ozzy. I just don’t usually have an allergy to dogs… just pugs.

  13. Please give yourself some grace:) I am sure that was one tough decision. He was one lucky little dog to get to live with such as awesome family who loved him, and now he is with another who love him just as much, and you get to see him. Your health has to come first:) I am so glad you are getting time to spend with your dad… there are better days ahead!
    Looking forward to 22 days of summer fashion!!!

  14. I know how much you miss Ozzy.  Try hard to focus on how he is now helping the other woman with the grieving process from losing their other dog.  Maybe when your family is ready, you can get a poodle or a doodle with a greater amount of poodle in them.  I’m wondering who Caroline ‘s love for baking is from.  Did y’all watch SpaceX take off yesterday?  It was pretty awesome.  After my weekly weigh in this morning, there are now 3 things that I cannot consume, under any circumstance because they are my weaknesses, and they bring on the pounds.  They are not helping me see positive results from the Body Groove workouts.  I rememberEd to apply the sunscreen yesterday before mowing the yard and I’m glad because sunburned ears hurt.  Enjoy your day!

    1. I used to love to bake, until I went gluten-free. That kind of ruined it for me, lol. My mom is the one who taught her to make pies and biscuits. And she watches tons of YouTube videos and things as well.

  15. Your thoughts are mine, as well, JoLynne. I wish I had a “Caroline” still at home. I have a major sweet tooth and although I practice IF, if I’m hungry, I eat. Would Caroline want to share the cinnamon roll recipe? It seems she makes them often so perhaps her recipe is less involved than mine! Enjoy the day with your dad! 

  16.  Glad  your dad came to visit.  hope you enjoy  your  time  together. Have  a wonderful  sunday ! 

  17. Well said –  such a strange time for all of us…….I just try to go day by day now and enjoy what we can.   So glad you got to visit with your dad, our close family has been a bright spot for us!  Enjoy your day!

  18. Jolynne, you have been in my thoughts so often the last few weeks.  My husband and I just got a new puppy 3 weeks ago and are both so in love with this little sweet soul and truly feel she was meant to be ours , so I can imagine how your heart hurts.  Like you, I over analyze and rethink every decision, run through every scenario and possibility- and since this decision effects your whole family, I can see how that can make you nuts doing that.  And with Paul’s father’s passing and not being able to have services- well, it’s just too much.  Give yourself some grace.  Having your dad there this weekend is good and being silly is even better.   I’m praying for you sweet girl, for peace, and for comfort.  Consider yourself hugged!

  19. “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
    ~C.S. Lewis
    I go to this quote when my heart hurts. 

  20. My 14 yr old daughter, Caroline, is a baker too. She made pumpkin bread yesterday and is making some sort of muffins right now. She is always baking something. Last week, her brother asked for a pound cake and she just made him one on a whim! 🙂

  21. I’m sorry for your hurt over Ozzy, but completely understand. I have been doing the same thing over the decision I had to make when it was time to say goodbye to my Maddy at 15 yo. I felt like I reacted, did it too quickly, and I rethought the decision and time leading up to it thousands of times. I started journaling and that helped. It will just take time. It took me almost 4 months to (mostly) be at peace with it.

    I am very happy he is nearby and you all can visit him! My Maddy’s former owner came over a couple times a year to visit her for the 10 years I had her, right up until the end. The connection lives on forever.

  22. We are certainly living in an unpredictable world! I hope you get to enjoy the day with your dad and family.

  23. I can so feel where you are coming from and tell you again what has helped me to remain sane through the virus and severe family issues we are going through. Again, I have always kept up doing yoga with Adrienne only on the weekends. When my gym was forced to close in March, I started doing yoga every day. I realized a few weeks ago that I had become much more calm through all of this and I attribute it to the yoga.  Also, I try to be conscious of the things that I do have and focus on that. It sounds elementary, but it’s amazing how much the mind wants to go to the negative. I always just pray and ask for help in not thinking about “the things” and ask him to carry it for me. 

  24. I am sorry about Ozzy. It’s definitely a challenge to find the right fit when you have asthma I found a site by googling the right pet for allergies. I found a list I could have. Fell in love with the miniature schnauzer… However they need alot of grooming. Minnesota is where I live and I can honestly tell you that we are all on egde… Makes it hard to feel peace and feel safe.. We have learned to go to the cross and lay it all down.. God bless you and your family today!!

  25. Jo-Lynne,

    Thanks for this post. I appreciate the way you acknowledge current events but don’t dwell on them.

    It’s hard to lose a dog and also to give your dog away if the situation calls for it. I have felt so sad over both situations but remind myself that I was lucky to have had them while I did. There are people who would think it’s silly, but our dogs have comforted us during some rough times and make us laugh everyday. God bless.

  26. I don’t think anyone who has loved a dog could say, “…just a dog.”  They tap into the nurturing part of our hearts much the way children do. My heart breaks for all of you. Like all grieving, it will take time and never completely stop hurting. The price of loving 💔
    Enjoy your time with your father in town. Glad you’re having good weather!

  27. I’m still sad for you and your family. I’m sure you are still missing that sweet Ozzy. His pictures tug at my heart but it really was just so unfortunate. I always think that with these mixed breeds they are always safe in terms of allergies so I would never have thought that. I take a special interest in your “ second dog” story because we’ve thought about it… loosely. We have a little Maltese who is 6 so still fairly young but my daughter would love another doggie and frankly our Maltese might like the company but I’m still leaning toward keeping us a one dog family. My daughter is 14 and in 4 short years she will go off to school so really it will be me and the doggies. My husband is always traveling. So not sure how I feel about that. But when I see those sweet pup pictures, I start to think! Oh well, this was prob too long of a reply. I’m poolside in my backyard right now too! Enjoy this beautiful Sunday amidst all the very sad goings on right now. 

    1. Yeah, our Savannah is much older – maybe around 10 or 11. I figured Ozzy would be mine after the kids are gone. At this point, I think we will just be a one-dog family.

  28. I’m a worrier and obsesser as well. It makes dealing with difficult things harder. And you’ve had a lot to deal with. Sometimes I wish I was like other people and didn’t worry like I do. But I think in the end it makes us who we are and we develop positive traits and qualities because of it. Sending hugs to you and your family. ❤️

  29. I have a suggestion for you to try with your gluten issue. . .go to Instagram and look at Lilsipper (her name is Bethany). She has dealt with severe GI issues most of her life and she has developed her own protein powder and she just came out with her own digestive enzymes. I LOVE the protein powder and my son (also has digestive issues) and I have started using her enzymes and we’ve both noticed a BIG improvement! Worth a try! 😁

  30. Love your updates.  I think it’s perfectly natural to miss Ozzy and wonder if you did enough.  At least he’s in a good home and happy.  It’s not like you left him at a shelter and he’s sitting alone (I know for some people, that’s what they have to do so no judgment, just pointing out he’s getting lots of love) 
    I’ve been baking a ton lately. I think it’s soothing and comforting.  I too intermittent fast and just had a homemade pop tart at 2pm. I can cram a lot of food into my eating window.  😀. I also roughly track macros so try to keep within certain carbs, fat and protein and calories but am not religious.  It keeps me from eating carbs all day.  Seems to work so I stick with it  
    Enjoy the pool, family and sunshine!

  31. It’s probably too early but sometime in the future you might want to consider a purebred poodle.  It’s nice you get to spend some time with your dad 🙂

  32. Thank you for putting into words what so many are thinking. Have been absent on social media for a bit. Needed a break from everything. . .  so was unaware of the losses you have had recently. Very sorry to read the news. 🙏🙏🙏’ s for you and your family.  May better days lie ahead.

  33. This was a nice coffeetalk. I can relate to giving your puppy away. We fostered a dog that I fell in love with. Especially since he ran off and thank goodness days later I found him. We bonded but we were not ready for 2 dogs and he wasn’t house trained. Anyway he found a good home but I still miss him!  I enjoyed talking with my 21 year old daughter today. We took a walk near the library. I was wearing a mask because she is around so many more people than I am. Thanks for bringing some normalcy to the day 🙂

  34. Hey….. I totally understand your sadness about Ozzy.  You had him just long enough to make him part of the family. I have the same personality. I would be feeling sorry that he’s thinking… where are they and where am I etc……. so you can grieve all you need on your blog. He’s not just a dog. When we picked out our first family dog when the kids were little, we wanted the girl beagle puppy but she was already promised to others. So we chose a cute little boy. The next day the lady called us and said the girl was up for grabs again as the couple backed out and if we wanted to trade we could. We all looked at each other and thought NO WAY. He already was part of us and we couldn’t think of taking him back for a trade. That was only one day later. You had a lot longer. I’m so sorry your May has been so hard. Covid is hard enough but grieving Paul’s dad, Ozzy and all your kids events canceled. It’s a lot. I’m glad you have the Lord and your blog and this weekend your dad. Your pool time sounds wonderful. We’ve had rainy, thunderstormy weather this weekend after nice days before. I’m ready for the sun again. Boost the mood. Things are slowly opening up around Oregon but much more to go. I finally get a cut and color Friday. Can’t wait. Best part is seeing my new grand babies again. One born last August and one this May 7 th. So wonderful being around them. Have a good evening. 

  35. You don’t have to apologize for feeling sad or out of sorts. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to feel unsettled. Hugs to you from Nashville!

  36. Ditto on Caroline sharing her cinnamon roll recipe. Please ?? It’s so nice to have your coffee talk shared with all of us.  It really helps when so many of us are so lonely and scared to hear about your real life and not always about shopping  I wish you could post more coffee talk days during this time 

  37. Jo Lynne, being a guy I don’t fit very well in this environment. But i do see your photos often online as I do help my 50 plus wife pick out outfits when we go out. I am in the design world and see our fields and worlds being similar. That aside I caught your latest entry and am saddened by all you are enduring, while there is a Pandedmic occurring. We have suffered much as well in the last 3 months. Tornado #3 hitting our home, Surgery, etc. We wanted to share how we are processing in hopes it would potentially help you. We both placed our trust and faith in Jesus Chist as our Lord and Savior in 2008 as a result of another injury of mine. I’m not sure you entertain entries on religion or not so don’t post if not comfortable. But please give us the pleasure of sharing that the God that Created all, including you, is at work in all you have endured, are enduring, and will endure. Here’s the best part Jo Lynne: He is with you always and loves you always. He doesn’t think like us. He has good in all He does. He is faithful in all He does and says. We are there with you in the moment how it can be difficult to process and comprehend. Been there done that. He is doing things we don’t consider “good”. He sees the outcome and growth. So we grow in faith each event or season we endure. No it’s not easy. But boy when we look back and see the blessings, sometimes more than one, we can see his fingerprints all over it and how He was and is caring for us and protecting us. When He is our focus and we communicate with Him through prayer and He communicates to us through His Word in the Bible, we can walk through these tough moments in this life with confidence we have Him. He is worthy of our prayers, our lives an our love. I’ve followed Cindi Spivey’s blog some, enough to know she Loves the Lord. If you know her have more conversations like this with her. If you don’t it may be worth chatting with her. God loves it when we talk about Him with others. It glorifies Him and speaks to His purpose in Community. The Bible is packed with stories of people suffering and blessings through miracles and love.
    Thank you for sharing your gifts in Fashion. It helps us practically in everyday life. Just wanted to soothe your soul and refresh you in these Truths mentioned. We certainly can use some truth today.
    God bless you in all you do Jo Lynne.

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