True Confessions #CoffeeTalk

Whew! What a week. I haven’t done a #CoffeeTalk post in a while — not because I have nothing to say, but because I have so many other posts going up, I figured it would get lost in the shuffle. And besides, I haven’t had time to breathe, much less write a “fun” post. Not that my other posts aren’t fun, but you know what I mean . . .

Coffee Talk | Old School Blogging with Jo-Lynne Shane

I will admit that I have way overcommitted myself with blog-related projects this year. Every year I go into this holiday season promising myself that I won’t take on too much. I will be more selective. I will pace myself. And this year is BY FAR the most stressful one yet.

It’s so hard to know what to ditch, though. I’m trying to keep track of what seems to resonate with you and what doesn’t so I can be smarter next year. I’ve never had a whole lot of strategy behind my blogging schedule. I just post what I want to post and take the opportunities I want to take, but this year there are way too many and I’m afraid some of it is getting lost in the noise.

Some things, like the gift guides and the Black Friday posts, I just do because I’ve always done it . . . without stopping to figure out if they’re worth it or not. This year I’m trying to keep track of stats, and it’s interesting. It’s the regular posts, the fashiony stuff and recipes that continue to be most popular. The posts that are the most time consuming are the ones that aren’t nearly as well trafficked.

And yet, lest I sound like a total shill, there are hundreds of emails I delete a day . . . hundreds of things that never see the light of day on my blog. It’s crazy overwhelming sometimes.

But I love it. I really do. I’ve always been a bit manic. I get panicky if I’m not busy enough. But there’s a fine line between busy-fun and busy-overwhelmed, and I feel like my life is a constant balancing act trying to walk that line.

I wish my workload wasn’t the ONLY reason I’m feeling overwhelmed.

On Tuesday, my foot totally flaked out on me again. I think I mentioned it earlier in the week. This time it’s far worse than it was before. The worst part is, I have no idea what I did to cause it. I was already living pretty much like an invalid, but I was starting to get back out there and feel normal again. I was so thankful to be feeling more like myself for the holidays. And now this.

I would be lying if I said I was approaching the situation with grace and humor. I am angry, I am frustrated, I am depressed, I am resentful. I hate relying on everyone else to do things for me. I hate not being able to help myself. And I really hate limping around like a dilapidated old woman. And you know what else? I MISS WEARING CUTE SHOES.

There, I said it. I am as vain as they come. I’ll own it.

And then there are all the holiday festivities I was looking forward to. We were planning to visit our favorite tree farm this weekend and cut down the family Christmas tree. I was looking forward to the Christmas parade that my son’s marching band is performing in this week. I was looking forward to my trip to NYC with my mom and daughters in two weeks, and now I find myself trying to figure out how I’m going to navigate the city in this stupid boot. I want to decorate the house for Christmas and bake more cookies and do all the things we would typically be doing this weekend.

But right now, even with the medical boot on, I can’t stand on my foot for very long without getting sharp paints shooting up through my ankle. (This is the foot that had the stress fracture, by the way. And the pain is in that same spot.)

I called my doctor’s office, but with the holiday weekend and all, they advised me to just wear the boot until I can come in on Monday or Tuesday.

So I sit and type away.

Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise that I have so much to do for my blog; it’s a welcome distraction.

Of course, my carpal tunnel has decided to flare up again. It’s no small wonder, with the hours I’ve been putting in on the computer this week.

So I have a brace on my right arm and a medical boot on my left foot. I’m a pitiful sight.

My family has been wonderful. My husband picks up the slack without a complaint, and the kids are all concerned. I try to plaster a smile on my face for their sakes, but they can see right through it. My little girl came up to me last night and said, “Mommy, I don’t like it when you’re sad.”

And truly, it’s a thin veneer of calm that I’m wearing. I really just want to throw a temper tantrum like a 2-year-old and then go to bed and sleep until it goes away. But what good would that do?

So yeah, when I said this was going to be True Confessions, I meant it.

I know I should say all the same things I usually say . . . I know it could be worse, I’m thankful it’s not something life threatening, I’m glad it’s not my kids who are hurt. But frankly, this just stinks.

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22 Responses

  1. Awww Jo-Lynne that must be so frustrating. I think you just need an entirely new foot. Like a foot transplant. Do they do those??

  2. Hi Jo-Lynne-
    I know it’s maddening when you can’t accomplish everything you’d like to due to injuries. I hope the doctors have some answers and relief to offer at your appointment. Sounds like your family is very supportive. I enjoy your blog and appreciate all the effort it takes to put it together especially at this crazy time of year.

  3. Maybe a temper tantrum & nap would be helpful. Sometimes it’s just too much to keep that smile plastered on. Maybe if you let it all out, you’ll feel better and have a clearer head & have room for a fresh perspective.
    Sorry you are going through all that at this busy time. I just heard yesterday that no experience, good or bad, is wasted. They all help us to grow in some way — even if we can’t see it right now. I’ll say a prayer for healing and peace for you. Wait on the Lord. His timing is a mystery at times.

  4. i am so very sorry that you have this to deal with during the very busy holiday season. I appreciate your honesty. Very refreshing! I hope you get some answers and relief from the doctor and that you feel better and are more mobile for your NYC trip.

  5. I am just starting to get back into boots and heels (for limited hours) but take the time to heal. You mentioned the carpal tunnel – same side as your foot? Take a good look at possible inflammation going on. Keep your healthy fats up. It could all be connected. Sciatic nerve does that to me. Honestly – getting old is NOT fun!

  6. Sounds like it might be a season of new traditions….like long marathons by the TV watching holiday movies, cuddling, stringing popcorn strings or cranberry strands and letting the kids put up the decorations! So glad you have the outlet to write/blog during this frustrating period…and don’t forget to start the day with your quiet time….a nice candle…hot cup of coffee…a quiet house…and ask the Lord to speak to you! xoxo

  7. I noticed you said that you don’t know what you did to cause your foot to flare up again. Have you ever had a DEXA Scan (bone density test)? Just wanted to throw that out there. I hope that you feel better soon.

    1. No, they did some bloodwork to check bone health, but they didn’t do the scan. I’ve wondered if it’s time for one of those. The doc I spoke with yesterday mentioned the tendons… so I’ll see if the doc thinks it’s a bone issue or a tendon issue. I expect an MRI is in my future.

  8. Oh man… I’m so sorry. You’re not alone, though. I feel your pain – literally. My leg has gotten progressively worse over the past months, to where it’s again interfering with sleep. It stinks… and the struggle is sooo much mental.

    As for NYC, we’ve decided to just bite the bullet & depend on cabs exclusively. It won’t be as quick or convenient as hopping on the subway, but there will be a lot of saved steps, and that’s worth it right there. Have you thought about that?

    1. Yeah, we will definitely be cabbing it everywhere. Or my mom is a big fan of uber. But even a city block is going to be an issue the way things are at the moment. It will be rough. I’m hoping the doc has some answers. (And that might include crutches… ugh.)

      1. Oh gosh, if it’s gonna be crutches, you might want to look into renting a lightweight wheelchair, or you’ll be dealing with even more issues. I’m SO sorry, hon!

  9. I am so sorry to hear that your foot is flaring up again. I hope that they don’t find anything too troubling or if they do find something that it is something that can be fixed. The arthritis from my stress fracture is so much worse than the original injury. On a bad day, it feels like the bone has shattered. It will wake me at night or if something brushes against it. The “what I did ” can be as simple as crossing my feet at the ankle and my heel resting on the spot.

    I hope you can find some way to dissipate the stress and energy, it is so hard when you can’t work it off.

    1. Oh gosh that sounds awful. The doc on the phone mentioned the tendons in that area? She said maybe I need a brace while I’m transitioning out of the boot. But I’ve been out of the boot for a while… I don’t know. I’m really anxious to see the doc.

  10. I am a busy bee also and hate sitting still, I’m always up doing something, ALWAYS, so I can totally sympathize with you. Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way that you foot heals quickly. Love, love love Coffee Talk, I can always relate to your thoughts. Thanks for sharing with us!

  11. The first of the week is almost upon us. Hope you get some definitive answers on your health issues and a plan for your speedy return to health. This is a tough time of year to not be on your game! I broke an ankle in January years ago…not fun manipulating crutches on ice. Sending up prayers for you!

    On another note, I just want to thank you for always, always, always replying to your readers’ comments. What a kind, thoughtful thing to do. Thank you.

    1. Well, how could I not respond to THAT!? LOL!! I am praying I do not need to deal with crutches. Holy cow…. and all for doing nothing??? It makes no sense. I think that is more bothersome than the pain and inconvenience of the injury. I can’t get better b/c I don’t know why this is happening. Grrr…. hopefully the doctor can shed some light on this newest development.

  12. Hi Jo-Lynne! I just wanted to pop on to say I’m so sorry about your foot and carpal tunnel. It must be so frustrating! Your blog has been fantastic and I’m loving all the posts, but Coffee Talk is definitely my favorite. Don’t feel bad if you need to scale back a bit on the other posts. We’ll all understand!

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