Well, it’s official. I have a high school graduate.
I’ve been half-anticipating and half-dreading this moment for, well… it seems like years.
I have this vivid memory of a day about four years ago when I was driving along (I do my best thinking when I’m alone in my car or running) and it hit me that my son was a freshman in high school, and that meant that I only had four years left with him.
That probably sounds silly — I mean, four years is quite a long time, right? But for whatever reason, that is the moment in my parenting journey that I realized I won’t have my kids at home forever.
It’s hard to explain, but at that moment driving along in the car, I literally felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. It was a physical feeling that has never quite left me, and I feel like I’ve been in count-down mode ever since.
You know how it is. When the kids are young and you’re in the trenches, parenting is all-consuming. It’s hard to see anything besides the exact stage(s) you’re in. You feel me, right?
But then there’s that moment when you poke your head up out of the water, come out of the fog, and realize there is life on the other side of your child-rearing years.
And don’t get me wrong. I know that the next stage is going to be incredibly wonderful, and I’m looking forward to it. I’ve watched friends and family members who are ahead of me in this parenting journey. I’ve seen their family dynamics change, watched their kids get older and become adults and bring home husbands and wives and eventually children, and I can see how much joy that brings to the entire family.
Plus having more time to spend with Paul, to travel, do my fashion blogging thing… that all seems very appealing to me too. Of course, I still have two kids at home, so those days of freedom are still ahead of me, but I know they’ll be here before I know it.
On Tuesday, D starts working as a camp counselor for five weeks. I won’t be seeing much of him this summer, and then the next thing I know, it will be time to send him off to college. I guess that is life’s way of getting me ready???
I’m excited for the next phase of having a child in college, but I can’t help but feel a little melancholy as I say good-bye to the end of an era. That said, I didn’t feel very emotional this weekend. I guess I was too busy, and D wasn’t emotional so that didn’t trigger my waterworks. I’m sure there will be a moment where it all hits me — likely when I leave him at college for the first time — but for now, I’m feeling pretty chill about everything.
I guess I’m ready. I’ve been preparing myself for months, and he’s ready to move on, so I can let him go knowing he’s happy and doing what he wants to do.
Meanwhile, I have a house to pack up and move. As I was saying good-bye to our friends who came out for D’s graduation party yesterday, I realized that was our last hurrah, so to speak. We won’t be hosting another gathering in this house.
As Paul and I were cleaning up last night and hand-washing platters, I told him not to even bother putting them away. I’ll just pack them up and put the boxes aside for the move. Once I get D off to camp on Tuesday, it’s go-time. The next few weeks will be full of packing, purging, and moving.
We have five weeks before moving day, but only three before we close on the new house and can start moving things over. It sounds like a lot of time in some ways, but I know it’s going to fly. Twelve years is a lot to pack up in five weeks.
As for today, it’s another rainy Sunday… you just gotta laugh at this point! And I’m so grateful for the nice weather we had for graduation on Friday night and the party yesterday that I really can’t complain.
We’ll go to church, and then we have reservations for brunch afterwards with my parents. After that, I most certainly plan to get a nap! I’ve earned it.
I hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend!