Coffee Talk 09.19.21

Happy Sunday, friends! I don’t have a lot of time to chat this morning, but I skipped Coffee Talk last week, and quite a few of you reach out to see if we were okay, so I didn’t dare skip it again. Kidding… I know y’all understand that it doesn’t always work out.

There are some days that I sit down here, and I just don’t have much to say. Or whatever is on my mind are things I can’t really share publicly. The older the kids get, the more I feel that way. There is plenty going on, but not a whole lot I feel comfortable talking about. That doesn’t even mean those things are bad or stressful… although sometimes they are… but more often it’s just life stuff that isn’t really my business to plaster all over the World Wide Web.

On the other hand, I know a lot of women reading along are at a similar stage of life and are dealing with many of the same issues, and it’s a shame we can’t talk more about it. I guess that’s why it’s important to have close friends in “real life” who can commiserate and support one another.

I got together for dinner with a few of those friends last night, and it was definitely food for soul. Plus, we haven’t had much of a social life lately with Paul recovering from abdominal surgery, so it was just nice to get dressed up and go out.

He is doing fine, and I appreciate all of the comments and emails, checking in on him and letting us know that you’re praying. It’s just a long, slow process to heal from this surgery. We knew to expect it, but it’s still kind of a drag. We’re both looking forward to him getting back to normal in a few weeks.

Everyone else is doing well. C is enjoying college life, and it sounds like she’s found her people. Getting used to being in a classroom after doing cyber school for the past five years is challenging, but all in all, she’s doing great and I’m so happy for her.

R is having a blast doing all the high school marching band events that she missed out on last year. I’ve never seen her so excited about anything, and that’s saying something. She gets excited pretty easily, ha! And D seems to be enjoying getting back into a routine with college classes and his part-time job, plus he has a great group of friends, so he stays busy.

I’m so grateful and happy to see everyone getting back to some semblance of normal after a year and a half of upheaval and uncertainty. I know we aren’t out of the woods yet with this pandemic, but I guess we’re learning to live with it.

And Paul and I are realizing that while we still have two kids living at home, we’re suddenly starting feel like empty nesters. It’s strange because our kids are three years apart in age, so major milestones like this are often spaced out nicely. But then Covid happened, and everyone came back home to roost for a year and a half, and now suddenly they’re all leaving at once… or at least getting so busy that they’re hardly here.

It’s strange and yet not so terrible. I’m just happy that they’re happy, and I’ve always had my own friends and this blog, so I don’t feel at a loss for what to do with myself. And really, even though they’re gone a lot, they’re still pretty needy… just in more grownup ways.

I’m learning through my own personal experience and from my friends with older kids who are walking ahead of me in this parenting journey that you never stop parenting. In fact, parenting often seems a lot more stressful now than it did when they were younger. Go figure!

Many are you reading along are older than me, and I’m sure you’re thinking: Yeah, I could have told you that. But it’s sort of a new revelation to me.

On that note, I better get off the computer and get myself ready for the day. I’m actually going to be traveling this week, so I need to pack and get things tidied up around here.

I hope you have a restful and very blessed Sunday!

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22 Responses

  1. It is a different kind of parenting. As my daughter is getting towards the end of her second pregnancy (so far he is breech, so we are hoping they can turn him this week), I am far more nervous about this birth than her first. Maybe that is because with the first he was 4 weeks early so it was happening quickly at the end.Also, we are now living only 30 minutes from them (rather than 12-14 hours) so it is more real.
    We had a chance to see them yesterday for a short time at the Duke football game (our son in law works for Duke so he was “working”, but we still had a chance to quickly chat.) I love seeing them, even for only a short chat. And my daughter and I had a long, “catch up” phone call in the morning. She is so busy at home and at work, so we don’t have a chance to do this too often. All in all, a great day yesterday.
    I made your chili yesterday, and we will have some tonight (and I am freezing the rest for them to have after the baby is born and life is even more hectic!) I did sneak a taste, and it is delicious. Cannot wait to put some more cheese and sour cream in it. Thank you for the recipe!
    Glad to hear everyone is doing well. I feel like I know you and your family a bit, and I keep thinking of them.

  2. Parenting never ends. I’m not complaining- just making a statement. My daughter’s family had COVID the last ten days so I ran some needed errands, leaving the items on the porch to stay distant. They are doing well – so blessed. I’m having lunch today with my almost 50 years old son who needs some help with dealing with teens who need some guidance. I love my kids and feel full when they call to just touch base or when they need some help. I’m happy I can be there.

  3. Jolynne,
    Parenting young adults is certainly emotionally draining. I remember complaining about the never ending physical needs/care young kids require. Little did in know the I’d be so emotionally tired. Whether they are good kids or kids who like to push your buttons, they still need you. Personally, we found the summer months at home with our college age son to be more stressful. With work, and a need to socialize, his hours got late. Of course this worry wort momma had him dead in a ditch some where. At least when he had his own place I didn’t know his comings and going’s or hours. It’s tough, but around the age of 25 things settle down for them which makes life easier on mom. I have no idea what causes you worry, I just felt the need to share my story. Faith and prayer got me through. Hugs

    1. Draining is a good word for it, lol. I think David living on his own for a couple years helped me be more chill. I usually don’t worry when he’s out late, and I tell myself if he were in his apartment, I’d have no idea of his comings and goings. Thankfully he usually replies if I check in. The late hours can bother me, though, mainly b/c they wake me up being loud and slamming doors. But then I remember my mom saying the same thing about when I came home, lol. So I figure it’s just part of the phase. 🙂

  4. This chat really hit home for me today. I have all grown children and dealing with them now is a 100% more difficult than when they were babies and school age. It would hurt me when they got physically hurt, or treated badly by someone, or didn’t get the team they wanted. Now, it kills when they lose their job, divorce, don’t get the promotion and can’t take care of their family, or drugs and alcohol get involved. A wise person once told me that you may have it rough, but someone else out there has it rougher. So I try to remember that. Anywhooo, thanks for letting me comment. I agree about having real friends, but you seem pretty doggone real most times too!

  5. You have spoiled us with your Coffee Talk posts on Sunday’s, so when we don’t receive one in our inbox, we do get concerned. It sounds like all three of your children are doing well and enjoying this phase in their lives. Little do they know, but these are some of the best years of their life, without the adult responsibilities of paying bills, providing for a roof over their heads, etc. I hope that you have safe travels this week. I know that Paul will definitely miss you!

  6. My husband’s grandmother told me once when my boys were young “when they’re little they may step on your toes but when they’re grown they step on your heart strings”. I didn’t know what she really meant until mine were grown and now I worry if something is bothering them; you have to stand back and let them handle it but it’s hard. Enjoy your week!

    1. Nancy….Love the saying by your husbands grandmother. Sooo true. Mine are 34, 30 and 26 and great kids their whole life and now great adults and parents themselves, but I still worry when they hurts etc. it’s hard to raise babies/Toddlers right now when they see so many faces in masks. :(. Thanks jo- Lynne for sharing your family. Feels like I know you and I do care about you and your family. Continued prayers for sure.

  7. Sometimes the parenting reverses, and you get advice from your child! I decided to go back college at 54 years old–eek! I have an associates degree but have always wanted a bachelors. This is my first semester and I asked my son for advice yesterday about writing my first paper. He was very helpful so I am a little less terrified!

    Of course, I still give him advice! He calls me when he’s stressed.

    1. Sandie, that is so impressive that you are going back to school. I’ve considered that too but with all the technology being used now, turning in a paper can be more challenging than writing the paper! Good luck to you!

    2. Sandy congrats on going back to school! I’m in my 30s and doing the same. I was worried at first because so much has changed in the 15 years since I finished college. Online learning was just starting then and now that’s how this entire program is set up! Once I played around with the software it got better and after the first semester I hit my stride. I’m always so inspired by people going back to school later in life! It’s part of what pushed me to take the plunge! I’m sure you’ll do a great job, hope you enjoy the ride!

    1. No one really know what causes it. But once the diverticulosis takes hold in the intestines – these are these little pockets that tend to get inflamed when food particles get trapped in there – the I infection that results causes the diverticulitis flareups he kept having. By removing the section where the diverticulosis is, and reattaching the intestine, It pretty much cures the disease. He should have no more diverticulitis attacks. But it’s quite an invasive surgery and takes a few weeks to recover.

  8. Hi Jo-Lynne! I do Love your Coffee Talks. You have a lovely family and I look forward to hearing about them as you see fit. Glad Paul is doing better and the kids are doing good. Have a great trip and be safe. 🧡🏵🍁🍂🙏🙂🧡

  9. Yes, parenting grown kids is challenging and emotionally draining at times. Good luck on your trip next week wherever that may be. I just went online tonight to buy a new set of face masks; never did I think a year ago that we’d still be “here” in the last quarter of 2021. Hope you’re having a good Sunday evening.

  10. I was a little concerned but supposing you were busy or worried maybe ,I did not want to disturb you. I will pray for Paul’s recovery🙏.And hope you are feeling better.You have a great community supporting you!

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