What to Wear to a Spring/Summer “Black Tie Optional” Event

When I heard we were having a “black tie optional” party at the conference I attended a few weeks ago, I immediately went on high alert. Every time I was shopping at the mall or online, I was on the lookout for the perfect dress. I knew I found it when I saw this fringy sheath at J.Crew.

The perfect Spring/Summer "Black Tie Optional" dress -- this fringy sheath from J.Crew!

When an event is black tie optional, that basically speaks more to the men than the women. It basically means, wear a tuxedo if you have one, and if not, a dressy dark suit will do.

For women, you will see everything from cocktail dresses to ball gowns in attendance. It’s just a matter of personal preference which way you go. I decided there was more chance I’d get to wear shorter dress again, plus I just happened across this one and fell in love with it, so that was that!

What to Wear to a Spring/Summer "Black Tie Optional" Event

I’m also pleased to be able to tell you that this dress just went on sale! It’s $118 at J.Crew right now, and it also comes in white, coral, and a fun citron yellow, so there are lots of options. It does run a little bit big. I have the size 6, but I usually wear an 8 in dresses.

The next question is, of course, how to accessorize. It depends largely on the type of event. Since I was attending a fashion blogging conference, I could have jazzed this up with colorful shoes or a stand-out bag, but I kept it classic and simple with nude strappy sandals and a black tassel clutch.

What to Wear to a Spring/Summer "Black Tie Optional" Event

I already had this clutch in my closet; it was actually gifted by GiGi New York at this same conference last year, and I love it. It’s versatile and goes with so many things, and the leather is beautiful. There is also a removable strap, which is nice when you want to be hands-free.

My shoes were a splurge this spring. I’ve been wanting a pair of these sandals for years, and I kept watching and waiting for them to go on sale, but they never do. When I knew I was going to this conference and had an occasion to wear them, I sprung for them.

What to Wear to a Spring/Summer "Black Tie Optional" Event

They were perfect for a fashion blogging conference, but I’ve also worn them with jeans for a date night and with a dress for church on Easter, so they’re definitely versatile.

If you like the style but not the price tag, several brands make a similar style for less. Steve Madden has the Stecy sandal and Sam Edelman has the Patti, and I’m sure there are others. I haven’t seen any that are as delicate as the Stuarts, but they all have a similar look that will go with a lot of outfits.

I went with a red lip for the event, and I kept wishing I’d found a red clutch to carry, or maybe some red earrings, but I ran out of time. I ended up accessorizing with a few pieces I already had — the Gala chandeliers and bracelet from Stella & Dot. Unfortunately they recently sold out. Another great option would be the Celine wrap bracelet and Etoile chandeliers.

What to Wear to a Spring/Summer "Black Tie Optional" Event

I felt like this outfit was just a little bit on the safe side, especially for a fashion blogging conference, but it would be appropriate for most black tie optional events. Sometimes it’s okay to play it safe. I felt comfortable and confident (well, as comfortable as one can be in 4″ stilettos, lol!) and that’s the most important thing!

What to Wear to a Spring/Summer "Black Tie Optional" Event: J.Crew fringe sheath, Stuart Weitzman Nudistong Sandals, foldover clutch fro GiGi New York

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fringy sheath (also available at Nordstrom) // Stuart Weitzman Nudistong Sandals (similar for less here and here) // foldover tassel clutch c/o GiGi New York

photo credit: Megan Weaver

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111 Responses

    1. Well, I’ll be honest. By the end of the night, my feet weren’t very happy with me. LOL. But I don’t regret wearing them for a second. ????

  1. I love this dress but I was surprised to see nude shoes! Could you wear black pumps or is that too frumpy?

    1. You could totally wear black pumps or black strappy sandals like these. I like the way the nude lengthens the leg and it’s a little more modern, but I also wear black pumps with my LBDs sometimes.

      1. Thanks, Jo-Lynne, I can always count on you for great style advice! Love your blog and your outfits!

  2. sorry – I have to move on from your blog, JLS. It is so difficult to follow a blog that is so out of touch with how moms are able to shop. I feel that your blog has gotten a little “showy” with all your expensive accessories. I don’t know ONE mom who could spend that much money on ONE pair of shoes. $398!! Yes, I am free to look for a similar pair in my price range but what exactly is the point in blogging your costly items? I think you have lost touch with what a “typical” suburban mom can afford and it is a bit discouraging, to be honest.

      1. You are entitled to your opinions but some of us DO have the money to spend on the items that Jo-Lynne features! If you can’t say anything nice! Don’t say anything at all!

    1. Well, since you asked. The point is simply that I wore it. This is a personal style blog, and I share what I wear. Beyond that, there are moms who get invited to galas and events and they often ask me what to wear. So for them, this outfit is relevant. The dress is quite affordable. The shoes and bag can be found at about any price point, and I’m showing how nude strappy sandals and a black foldover tassel clutch are a modern way to style a LBD. If people want high quality designer pieces, I’m showing them some that I love and recommend. If they want to copy the look for less, I’m also giving them some options to do so.

      I style everything from Payless to Stuart Weitzman, and I always have. My mom bought me my first pair of SW shoes 15 years ago, and I still wear them. He makes a fabulous shoe, and for those who have the budget, I highly recommend them. Just because you don’t know anyone who spends $398 on a pair of shoes doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

      I have said this many times, but again, I try to feature a variety of price points so my blog is accessible to a wide variety of women. I follow blogs who routinely feature Louboutins and Prada, so considering what is out there, my “high end” products aren’t really all that high.

      If you feel the need to move on from my blog, feel free. It doesn’t hurt my feelings. There are tons of great blogs who keep their prices on the lower end. But for those reading along, I think we all need to remember that what is “typical” to one person isn’t typical to all.

      1. Well said! My daughter in law has Loubitan’s…..doesn’t mean I do! They are beautiful!!! LOL!

        1. Well said Jo-Lynne 🙂 without you I may never have tried my beloved DL premium jeans!!! I may still be stuck in yoga gear !!! Lol!! But, seriously, I have learned soo much about what to splurge on (classic wardrobe basic pieces that I’ll wear many times) and save on trendier pieces(that may go out of style quickly) I may never buy SW shoes but I do have my eye on some TB sandals :)! Thanks for all you do!!

          1. A day late- but want to “ditto” what Tricia said……I would never have known or tried DL1961 jeans- the best jeans I have ever worn! I look forward to your posts- love the “shop with me” ones and love the details you provide on everything- including travel. Someone else said they feel like they have a fashion friend in you- totally agree!

      2. Sure – to each her own and I didn’t think your feelings would be hurt. My point is that when you are describing your blog as being geared toward the “typical suburban mom,” I find this to be a misleading description since you are regularly featuring so many pricey items. I completely agree that we all splurge now and then but I do think you are a little pampered and unaware that the majority of real suburban moms cannot shop like this. I won’t check back after this comment but I think that your blog would get a lot more traffic if you featured more affordable options.

        1. What is the point in going on the attack towards a Blogger who DOES offer a variety of style options and price points for women within varying ages and income levels, plus one who has such a sweet spirit? I’m not only a Suburban Mom but a Suburban Grand-Mommy. I can afford most items Jo-Lynne offers but that doesn’t mean doing so would necessarily be responsible for me, whether they’re shoes from Payless or Stuart Weitzman. We all have freedom in our Blogs and purchases, but also in our words. Choose wisely.

  3. I wanted to comment on this dress after your Dallas post but didn’t get a chance to. It is gorgeous! I usually play it safe at similar events as I like classic and comfortable dresses and aren’t to over done. This sure does fit that bill and your accessories were perfect. It was my favorite dress in the pictures with some of the other bloggers. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day!

  4. Classic, stylish and on trend with a sexy twist!! I think you nailed it and the fit is perfect!!

  5. I just feel moved to respond to the comment about the pricier items you sometimes feature. I in no way can afford to purchase the exact brands you style, but I use this as a guide to what’s currently trending and have been very lucky in finding very similar items at the stores I can and do shop at. Obviously everyone must follow their own heart and do what’s right for them, but I don’t find your posts to be problematic. I love your style and “voice” and will continue to follow you here, there, and everywhere! 😉 (Not in a crazy, stalkerish way, of course!!)

    1. I have to agree with Jennifer as well. I too use your blog as a guide and am often able to find a similar style of the high end items at Target or TJMax. Your blog and others keep me current on the trends out there and then I have the luxury of deciding what works for me. Keep up the good work!

    2. I agree with you Jennifer! My preferred price point for shoes is less than $100 and I do not have a robust interest in handbags, but I have found Jo-Lynne’s style and personality to be very comfortable and welcoming!

      1. My sentiments exactly. I’m not necessarily looking to shop while reading JLS’s blog–I’m looking to be inspired. JLS does that every day!

  6. Love the dress! I wish I had somewhere to wear it. I’d buy it in a second! I particularly liked the neckline. 95% of the time I wear a V neck because high necklines don’t look great on me, but I think I could pull that off! As for the price point discussion, I love seeing pieces in different price ranges. I probably wouldn’t spend $400 on a pair of heels, but I think I would spend $400 on a pair of chelsea boots that I wear 6 days a week, fall to spring. So to each her own! Thank you, Jo-Lynne for being so willing to share yourself and your life with us.

  7. Thank you for sharing your life and all the wonderful ideas in keeping me up-to-date! I appreciate your blog so very much and it is the first thing I search out just after my devotion each morning! Hope you have a blessed day!

  8. Jo-Lynne your whole outfit from head to toe is absolutely stunning! I appreciate your clarifying the definition of Black Tie Optional for both men and women. I learn something new from your Blog all the time! Blessings upon your day!

  9. Love that you “played it safe” and looked and felt fabulous! This is super cute on you. I have the Sam Edelman shoes and love them! I can afford the Stuart’s but don’t own any…. yet ha ha…. knowing me I’d get the stiletto caught in a grate and destroy them the first time wearing them ( I don’t say this from experience or anything ha ha!) We all splurge from time to time…. What that “splurge” looks like is going to vary greatly from person to person! I’m happy for you to have finally bought shoes you thought about for a long time. It must have been nice to wear them at an event that could have been some what intimidating! Love your blog! Blessings Krista

  10. I actually follow your blog BECAUSE you have a nice mix of hi/low-cost items. I like that you’re true to your own style and show lots of different options at all price points. But I guess you can’t please everyone. 🙂

    Lovely dress and shoes, by the way.

  11. Gorgeous! I love the entire outfit. I enjoyed the post because my daughter is getting married in two weeks. It is black tie optional. I love the chance to dress up! We just don’t get to do that very often any more. I love that you give us options. I love yours and Cyndi’s style. Have been following you for a while now. Keep up the great work. I would and have spent $400 on shoes…lol.

      1. Yes, there are too few reasons to dress up any more. Chicken or the egg? Do we dress up too seldom due to lack,of opportunity or are there too few opportunities because we err too often on the side of dressing down? I propose that we stand up and create more opportunities. If coworkers call this sartorially feisty old lady overdressed, so be it. It is still true that no one gets to be gorgeous while being completely comfortable, cheap, or lazy. You do better than most with your great balance of good sense and looking beautiful. That is why I read your blog first.

  12. Beautiful look! I agree with ValToo on the price point discussion. Thank you for sharing with us and giving us the options. I rarely buy the exact shoes/accessories that you style anyway – but i truly appreciate your giving us options. I might buy the outfit but as far as accessories, I feel as long as I get close and with a similar look (many times I already have something that will work) I am good to go. Thank you for always sharing with us!

    1. That is exactly what I am hoping for when I share outfits. Of course, when people buy the exact items and love them, that makes me happy too, and I do make a small commission (in the interest of full disclosure) but I’m also hoping people are inspired to shop their closets and put things they have together in new ways. Thanks for your encouragement!

  13. Hi Jo Lynne, what a gorgeous dress, and it looks stunning on you! Everything looks so put together 🙂


  14. Very “interesting” conversation here. 🙂 You do look stunning and I hope you felt confident at your event! I think that if you never showed us the “expensive” side, we wouldn’t be getting as much of an “education” here. I mean, I never even heard of Tory Birch flats or SW shoes. I rarely shopped at “higher end” retail because I was intimidated at doing high quality wrong. Now I see more of a difference in the brands. Anyway, not sure I’m adding, just wanted to encourage you! Have a blessed day!

  15. Hey Jo-Lynne, I promise I won’t stop following you because those shoes have four inch heels and my extreme max height I can wear is 3 inches. ????????????. I love that you wanted those shoes for a while, waited for a sale then finally purchased. That tells me so much. If you were being irresponsible with your money, you would have rushed out at first want, instead of patiently planning. So, so many of us love your blog and your sweet spirit! Keep up the good work.

    1. Ha! Thank you. I was thinking this thread needed some levity. There are so many wise cracks going through my head as I read thru these comments but I fear they may not come across the right way.

      The shoes weren’t on sale tho… They never go on sale, so I finally gave up and splurged. If they last me 15 years like the other pair I have, I will consider it $398 well spent.

      Hey, I get it. Money is a tricky thing, and it’s hard not to make judgements about how others spend theirs. I don’t relish sharing with the whole world what I spend, but that comes part and parcel with this job, so I’ve had to make peace with it. Thanks for your encouragement. 🙂

  16. Gorgeous outfit, Jo-Lynne. I’m considering purchasing the dress in the lovely coral. Hang in there sweetie! Not only do the fashions hang beautifully on you, but you are clothed in “strength and dignity…and when you speak, your words are wise, and you give instructions with kindness.” (Proverbs 31:25-26)

  17. You look stunning as always! I enjoy your blog and have bought many items you have featured on it. I like the fact that you and Cyndi Spivey feature items at different price points so I am surprised by the comments on todays post. You both have a large audience that appreciates all your hard work so don’t be discouraged!!

  18. Jolynne, when I went through chemotherapy this past year, your blog inspired me to continue to look my best in spite of losing my hair, being so weak and having a mastectomy. I dressed stylish for all my doctor appointments (and there were sooo many) but especially on chemo day! The Lord used you to help me to put my best face forward as a witness to His glory. It gave me a platform to share my faith!
    Be encouraged knowing there are many lives out there that have been touched and you may have played a part in that! Many blessings to you.

    1. What a lovely comment, MonaClaire… You are a courageous woman! Just wanted you to know you inspired me–not ill–to look my best today. If you can do it, I can, too!

      Prayers for a healthy tomorrow!

        1. MonaClaire you are an inspiration & your lovely spirit is so uplifting. Thank you for your comment

  19. Jo-Lynne,
    A quick note to offer my encouragement as many others have already done. I enjoy everything about your blog. Thank you for sharing your life with people you’ll probably never meet.
    Please keep doing what you do!
    La Klenza
    P. S. One of my favorite things about you is your sense of humor. Wish I could hear some of those wise cracks, lol.

  20. I enjoy your blog and learn so much from reading it everyday. Don’t let the Debbie downers of the world discourage you one bit. Your blog is great and I love that you give less expensive options on the things that you post because sometimes I may be able to afford the more expnsive option but other times I cant but I can purchase the lesser expensive options so it’s great that you give us those options. And regardless of the fact it does give us ideas for things to try with pieces that are already in our wardrobe but we may not have thought to style it a certain way. So keep up the good work and don’t let those people get you down. I look forward to you email tomorrow.

  21. Jo-Lynne,

    Your blog is uplifting, educational, entertaining, and inspiring. Please continue to be who you are.

  22. First, so sorry to hear the negative comments today toward you and your blog. I love your blog and your sweet spirit and all you’ve taught us with fashion and life in general. You are real and have a great sense of humor. I have followed both you and Cyndi and I’ve seen her blog get attacked before too and no matter what others say, you keep on keeping on with what you do. Read the comment from the lady above telling you about dressing fashionable to her chemo apt. because of you. That little thing boosted her spirits to make it to her treatments and she said because of YOU. You are a witness and your blog is more to others than just fashion. Hang in there. Love the black dress. I tried to click on the link to see the other colors too, but sent me to GOOGLE bar. Is that just me? I noticed your dress in your blog about your conference and thought you looked just beautiful in it. Perfect fit.

    1. Last night my affiliate links weren’t working but they should be good now. Let me know if you see any more of those. (So annoying!) And thanks for your encouraging words!

  23. You look stunning. 🙂 I’m sure there’s some anxiety over what to wear at a style blogger conference, especially a black tie event. I appreciate knowing some of the thought process that went into choosing your outfit and accessories. I get such good ideas from your outfits- for example, I would never have thought of nude shoes with a black dress. Now I can see how good they look together. I can’t create fashionable outfits, but I can copy. 😉

    I also appreciate all the research you put into your blog and showing a variety of things and price points. It’s such a good resource, and I would never take the time to look at all the options myself or begin to know how to style them. You’ve also encouraged me to try new things. Ironic that the discussion today has been over expensive shoes, and your blog sent me to Payless. LOL I hadn’t looked at a Payless shoe store since I was out of college, and after seeing you wearing some I went back. I bought some that were something like $14.99 and a second pair at buy one, get one 1/2 off. They were cheaper than what I usually buy, and I’ve been really happy with them.

    1. I’m so glad to hear that! They do a really good job these days. I was sorry to hear they were having financial trouble; hopefully they can pull out of it.

  24. I love your blog I can’t always afford everything you style but I have gotten some AMAZING deals through your blog. Around Christmas you blogged about the Tory Burch sale I bought 2 pairs of riding boots less than 1/2 off. I never would have known about that sale if it wasn’t for your blog. You shopped me right through the Nordstrom 1/2 yearly sale. Keep doing what you are doing I’m a faithful reader.

  25. I too enjoy your blog! I like that you show a variety of price points and styles. I’ve been following for a while, and I am much more aware of current trends, what I like and dislike, and you’ve opened my mind to brands I have never heard of. I live in a rural area and shopping is very limited here. So most of the stores you showcase are more than 100 miles from my house! It is a day trip to even go there to window shop. So, I really like your online links (Love my Sam Elderman Felicia Flat! Thank you!) but I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t spend $400 for shoes. However, seeing those high end styles, I might find something I like, then go find similar for less. In fact you often show a budget friendly alternative and did so here! I really appreciate that!

    I know you put a lot of effort in this blog and it is a joy to read. Each morning I try to check in over coffee. I think to myself – “Let’s see what JoLynne is doing today!”

  26. I may not buy some of the expensive accessories you feature, but I still enjoy following your blog. And likewise, since I’m over 60 years old, I might not be able to wear some of the clothes you post, but I still enjoy reading your blog! Much more fun than the ones for over 50! I guess I will never feel my real age – even if I look it!

  27. When I read yesterday there were only 2 or 3 comments so after you saying there was a lively comment section I came back to look again, ha. Tells you just how exciting my morning is, LOL. There’s no way I could spend $400 on shoes. I probably spent half that on clothes and shoes combined last year. But it doesn’t bother me in the least that you did. I guess if I bought more clothes I may care more about the prices of pieces you featured, but while I enjoy seeing what you wear that really isn’t why I’m here. I’ve followed you since before you were strictly a fashion blogger and love hearing your “voice” even when it’s just about clothes 🙂 I agree with the other commenters that I’d love to hear the wise cracks running through your head at these comments. I sit here every morning reading your posts because it’s like having coffee with a friend, the clothes are secondary.

    1. You are definitely one of my longest readers who has stuck around, I think! I will never forget running into you at the shoe store, lol. Thanks for sticking around through all the evolutions of my blog. 🙂

  28. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I can’t tell you enough how much I enjoy your blog (I am also a FB follower). For you to put yourself out there for the world to see/judge is courageous. Not only have you been educational in fashion I have found you encouraging in life. God bless you Jo-Lynne.

  29. Just like the comment above, I read your blog early yesterday and there were only one or two comments. I was curious to see what happened later on with the comments and came back to read them.
    We all have different ideas regarding what is an appropriate amount to spend on clothing,shoes and accessories. I personally wouldn’t purchase the shoes but that’s more because I’d fall flat on my face wearing four inch heels! I think the point of any fashion blog is to learn from it, see what’s in style and try to make it fit your own lifestyle. I’m glad you purchased something you had wanted for a long time. And I might look for a nude dressy sandal with a much lower heel…..????

  30. Wowza. I don’t usually read the comments section but came back to it today to see what the fuss was about. I will say when I initially read your post yesterday, the cost of the shoes didn’t make an impression on me other than it’s more than I would typically spend. I thought your outfit was fantastic and fit you so well. And the whole post was really informative to me to see how “black tie” is being interpreted these days, since I don’t have a lot of these events to attend. I feel like you do a really good job of offering many different price points on items, which I imagine is incredibly time consuming. I love your style and get so many good ideas from your blog, your facebook page and the fashion-over-40 group, so keep doing what your doing! Maybe I wouldn’t personally choose to spend that amount on a pair of heels, but now I’m thinking I *for-sure* should ask for them as a Mother’s Day gift 😉
    Rock on!

  31. I saw what you wrote today and had to come back to check out what people said. First, it’s your blog so write about whatever you want! Second, I love the clothes and accessories that you feature and although I probably could purchase the high end products, I often choose to find similar things at a lower price point. I’ve been reading your blog for many years and I’m so impressed with the way that you’ve evolved over time and upgraded your blog design and photographs. Keep it up 🙂

  32. I enjoy getting ideas from your blog and I understand the value of buying something u luv that will last. Although I’ve been reading a minimalist blog that has given me a different perspective. I was watching QVC and around 50000 customers had ordered a Dooney and Burke bag that I had seen at TJ Maxx for half the price. Anyway I was so glad I hadn’t spent my time or money (3 payments) ordering that bag. Although I was watching QVC! Ha!

  33. Jo-Lynne I love your blog! I have bought & enjoyed wearing several items you have styled. I love the way you show so many options in styles, prices, etc. you share great ideas & make it possible to see styles before they are hitting small towns. It is 35-100 miles to a good shopping area & I love knowing what too look for when I do go. Keep up the GOOD WORK!!!!!

  34. Jo-Lynne – when I posted the comment on your Facebook page yesterday that I was “extra loving” your blog lately, I had no idea that this commentary was going on here on your blog. Isn’t God cool how he prompted me to encourage you when I didn’t even know you needed encouragement? I LURVE your blog! Keep up the good (and hard) work!

  35. So, I’m a long-time reader (about 9 years) and I too came back to check out the comments on this post after reading today that things “got lively.” Not trying to be unkind, but there were only 3 comments that said anything remotely negative, and they were all polite and well-written. They also were relevant, as you’ve mentioned several times in the past that feedback (such as the reader survey) shows that people would like to see a variety of stores and price points. It sometimes is hard to hear over and over “yes, it’s a splurge but sooooo worth it for the quality.” That’s simply not a reality for many out here. I’m going to continue reading your blog, but I felt compelled to share my two cents.

    1. Hi Luisa, thanks for sticking around for 9 years. You’ve definitely seen this blog evolve! 🙂 Allow me to clarify – when I said “lively” I was also referring to all the comments in response to the one that was mostly critical. And even with that one, I am happy to answer those questions and share why I do things the way I do on my blog. I put myself out there to thousands of people, and getting an occasional critical/negative comment is part of the deal. I am used to that.

      Yes, my survey showed that people want to see a variety of shores and price points, and that is exactly what I offer. There may not be enough of a certain price point or brand to satisfy everyone, but that would be nearly impossible. I understand that everyone’s reality is different, which is precisely why I show so many different price points and try to offer alternatives when pieces are spendy. I’m always walking a fine line between being a personal style blog and attempting to be a resource to the many diverse readers who visit my site, but at the end of the day, I’ll never make everyone happy, and that’s okay.

  36. Jo-Lynne, I love your blog! Who cares what price point you show, its a style blog, work with it!! Hurt people hurt people. Don’t worry about any of this, keep rockin it girl!

  37. I can’t wear any of the items you show except the accessories because I’m pregnant with baby #6, but I still folllow because I need ideas to not look like it’s baby #6! LOL!

    I’m a “mannequin shopper”, meaning I have to see an outfit completely put together before I buy it. And I rarely buy it as is because the price points don’t fit my budget. I take a mental (or these day, an iPhone) picture or look at my style board on Pinterest and go Target or Khol’s and buy the same outfit with lower priced variations.

    This method help keep me sane while shopping (I actually hate shopping!) and allows me to shop not only within my budget but also my current life stage, which just so happens to be the second trimester!

    Keep up the good inspiration!

  38. I purchased this dress in May, and I want to wear it to an event next weekend on October 21. I am in Pittsburgh, so the weather could turn chilly. Can I style this for fall? Or is it too summery? I have only worn it once, so it would be nice to wear it again.

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