The Tale of A Knuckle Sandwich and A Negligent Tooth Fairy

Yesterday morning when I was in my bathroom getting myself all primped and ready to go to the Crayola Factory, I heard a commotion downstairs.  Before I had time to put the wand back in my tube of mascara so I could go investigate, my 6-year-old daughter bounded into my bathroom and started explaining the situation.  Evidently, she and her 3-year-old sister were having a bit of an altercation that came to blows.  This is certainly not something we tolerate, and yet neither is it a particularly unusual occurrence.  It just so happened that when her sister hit her in the mouth, she knocked her tooth right out of her head.

Now, this tooth had been loose for weeks and was hanging on by a thread.  We had been threatening to yank it out in her sleep, so her sister didn’t have to hit her very hard to accomplish the task.  And C was so thrilled to have her tooth out that she assured me, “It’s okay that R hit me.  Don’t discipline her.  Really, it’s GOOD that she did!”

M’kay.  Let’s just say she doesn’t need any encouragement in this area of besetting sin.

I helped C put her tooth in a baggie, and she carefully placed it under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy, and we went on about our day.

This morning I was sitting here at my computer, drinking my coffee while C slept in.  She’s 6 going on 16, I swear.  When she awoke, she immediately looked under her pillow to find… nothing.  She appeared beside me with sleep-tousled hair and a tear-stained face, declaring tragically that she was SURE she left her tooth under her pillow, but there was NOTHING there, and the Tooth Fairy DIDN’T COME!

Quite truthfully, I was shocked that she took it all so seriously.  This is the kid who decided she doesn’t believe in Santa because “everybody knows that reindeer can’t fly.”

Well, I snapped to attention and told her to go back up and look again, that I was SURE it was there somewhere.  While she started up the stairs, I grabbed a handful of quarters out of my desk drawer and hurried to catch up with her.  When we got to her room, I stealthily slid the money under her pillow with one hand before picking it up with the other to reveal the elusive change.  Once again, mommy swoops in and saves the day.  She seemed convinced, although she confidently assured me that it hadn’t been there a few moments before.  Wouldn’t it be glorious if we mommies could always heal their heartbreak that easily?

As for the tooth, my guess is the slippery bag probably slid down behind the bed in her sleep.  I need to remember to go hunt it down before she discovers it.  And next time one of my kids loses a tooth, I better write the Tooth Fairy a note.

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24 thoughts on “The Tale of A Knuckle Sandwich and A Negligent Tooth Fairy

  1. Oh no!! At least you were able to save the moment! We use a box for our Tooth Fairy, that way it doesn’t slide as much.

    Hope she doesn’t figure you out!

  2. Lol!
    I have two horrible tooth fairy stories to tell.
    My oldest (the middle schooler)was around 6. She lost her tooth and we put the money under her pillow. Well..this is terrible..she had two pillows on the bed. She goes to look the first pillow and there was a big scary REAL spider under it. She screamed and started freaking out because the tooth fairy took her tooth and left her a spider!

    My youngest was around the same age..maybe 7. We have a filing cabinet in our office that we keep important papers in. Well, she started rifling through it looking for something and found her teeth in envelopes. She started screaming and crying w/rage and stomped off to tell her sister that “DADDY is the tooth fairy!” she was SO MAD!

  3. That’s a great story; you must have been pretty sly!

    I remember not believing in Santa pretty early on as well because we didn’t have a chimney and my parents didn’t provide a convincing argument to counter.

    Have a great weekend!

  4. The FIRST time our naughty tooth fairy “forgot” to deliver, my eldest (and untidiest) daughter decided it was because her room was too untidy! She now tidies her room at the first sign of a wobble – and who am I to argue!

  5. My daughter has her first loose tooth and I suspect that the tooth fairy will be making her debut at our house soon. I am totally the type of tooth fairy to forget so I should probably put a post it note on my bathroom mirror to remind me!

  6. This isn’t the first time we’ve forgotten; I guess we usually figure something out, though. My son never really believed in the tooth fairy or Santa, so we’re not used to having to keep up the act. Guess this was my wake up call, huh?

  7. This happened to me too once. I wasn’t nearly as sly as you. I ran upstairs, put the money under my own pillow and then suggested that maybe the tooth fairy got confused and put the money under the wrong pillow. We searched all the beds and found it. Afterward my son said, “The tooth fairy isn’t one of the smart fairies, I guess.”

    Yeah. I guess not.

  8. Sometimes the tooth fairy is sooo busy that it takes a day or two until she can stop by our house-that’s my story and I am sticking to it!

  9. I LOVE the Tooth Fairy!!!One of childhood’s wonderful,magical,never-to-be repeatable times. There have been many days in my not-so-magical adulthood when I had wished I could sell my teeth for a little cash!

  10. OH MY, I can’t tell you how many times the tooth fairy has been late to the party in our house! With 4 kids and so darn many teeth in each mouth it’s a regular occurance 😉 A few times when the poor child was beside herself the tooth fairy was kind enough to leave her a teeny tiny note, in teeny tiny handwritting that appologized for her tardiness. All was forgiven, and the TF was even kind enough to leave behind the tooth – which explains WHY mom still has the first tooth she lost 😉

  11. I read this on my phone earlier and was laughing so hard. I think the other moms at school thought I was nuts. How on earth did you pull that off? Mine would not have let me get away with it! Oh the fact that your kids are throwing blows…but it’s not a regular occurance just cracked me up – I had a vision of the musing kids boxing in the family room and mom Vlogging it!

  12. Honestly? This is something I’ve always wondered about when I have kids. What if they wake up while you’re trying to extract the tooth from under the pillow? Or even if you put it on a night table… they could still wake up while you’re there! LOL

  13. The tooth fairy has really caused my some trouble in the past. I don’t know why, but we seem to always be at the end of her list of visits and I think she just runs out of time and doesn’t make it to our house. Then my daughter writes her a frustrated, semi-angry note so that she is sure to show the following night. Which she does. But it seems that we have to threaten her before she gets serious with the quarters. Sheesh.

    I’m glad you were able to save that tooth fairy’s rear this time. Hopefully she won’t be so careless in the future! 😉

  14. The tooth fairy in these parts is negligent too!! She comes up with good excuses, though. Like one time my daughter left it in a weird place (I knew where it was, but I said that the tooth fairy probably just didn’t know).

    That’s pretty good handywork you did though.

    Sad sad sad.

  15. Hilarious! We forgot the last time Kiki lost a tooth. We told her the tooth fairy must have had a busy night and we should try again the next night! It just seems like such an easy thing to forget! Good job you had those wicked reflexes!!

  16. the tooth fairy had the same problem at our house. my daughter had asked for a pretty specific toy that i was pretty sure i wouldn’t be able to find. so she discovered that the tooth fairy was late because she spent so much time looking for the toy. since she couldn’t find it, my daughter got money to buy her own toy. happiness reigned.

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