Grosser Than Gross

I still plan to recap my weekend, but there isn’t time right now.  However, I cannot let another minute pass without telling you about what happened last night soon after I got home.  And I can’t let Shannon one-up me. 

Hub had cleaned up the house and the yard so that when I arrived, everything was spic-and-span.  I love that man.

When I pulled in the driveway, it was dusk.  The kids ran out of the house to greet me.  I was so happy to see them that I didn’t realize until this morning that I left the key in the ignition overnight and somehow didn’t turn it all the way to the off position, so I woke up to a dead battery this morning.  Fortunately I had enough time to get a jump from a kind neighbor and still get R to school on time.  But that has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

I hugged the kids, and then Hub came out and we said our hellos, and then he grabbed my suitcase and started to go inside.  Because everything had been cleaned up, we immediately noticed the dark brown splatter up the front of the garage.  I asked what it was, and he didn’t know.  He touched it hesitantly but still had no clue.  We both started looking around for a mud puddle someone may have stepped in or the car might have run through, but there was nothing. 

Then I saw it — the brown pile on the sidewalk.  He reached down to touch it just as I said, "Is that a frog!?"

I think I put two and two together before he did.  Just as I said the word "frog", he touched it and realized it was a dead, squished frog.  And the splatter on the garage was frog guts.  He jumped back in alarm and started jumping around and squealing like a girl.  The hilarity of it all struck me in my overtired state, and I began laughing my head off as he continued to yelp and protest at the grossness of it all.

Of course the next question was, what could have possibly squished that frog?  Could someone have stepped on it unknowingly?  We checked our shoes.  We checked the bottom of the suitcase.  No evidence of frog stompage. 

We went inside and told the kids, and of course they all had to squeal and holler.  But they had not been wearing shoes so we don’t think they are the culprits. 

We still have no idea what or who squished poor Kermit.  I really hope the culprit doesn’t come back to haunt us down the line.

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17 Responses

  1. That’s awesome! We used a frog that had been ground into the asphalt for home plate when I was a kid. Yours is better, though!

  2. You win! I would take my fungus any day over squished frog. Ironically, I was just thinking that I haven’t seen frogs around here lately like I did when we first moved in. Apparently, there is a frog assassin among us!

  3. I was in your driveway yesterday snatching back my gas guzzler but I’ll have to check with the kids and hubs to see if their shoes look slimed. I hope we weren’t unintentional culprits!

    Glad you made it back safely!

  4. This made me laugh! It reminded me of when I was younger and still living at home. Some how a frog got under the garage as it was closing! It was gross!

  5. Do you mind if I top you?

    Seriously, I’m the life of the party like that.

    OK, this is gross. Just to warn you.

    When I was in elementary school we had just arrived home after the evening Easter service at church. I had my beautiful new dress and brand new white shoes on. Instead on entering through the garage door, I ran around to the front of the house to wait for my parents to unlock the front door. I couldn’t see where I was going.

    I slipped and fell on a frog. Totally flattened it.

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