Here’s to all the moms (if you make it to the end)…

a-girl-and-her-dog

Yesterday was a doozie. I woke at 3am and then 4am. It might have something to do with that espresso I drank before bedtime. Finally at 4:30, I allowed myself to get up.

My blog was mid-process on the URL switch so I new I couldn’t do much with that. But no worries, I had planned for this. I had plenty of other things to do.

I created a couple of eBay guides and caught up on bookkeeping and checked Facebook approximately 185 times. I took the dog to the groomers and came back home and started cleaning for the cleaning lady. (Gotta love it!)

Once I’d bent over a few times to pick up clothes and things, my mild vertigo gave way to full-on dizziness and nausea. I had an appt to work out for the first time in weeks, but I knew I wouldn’t be worth much so I canceled and hunkered down at the computer to work.

For some reason my vertigo isn’t as bad when I’m sitting at the computer. I guess because I’m sitting still. It’s more of an imbalance than vertigo, truly. I’m not dizzy, I’m swaying. Constantly swaayyyiinng. It makes me feel like I’m sort of floating above the surface of my life. I keep thinking it’s getting some better, and then I will start doing normal activities and it comes back full-force.

My site should have been up and running by then, but there were issues. Issues that weren’t being answered or resolved even though I paid for this service in hopes of alleviating the stress that usually accompanies such projects.

I hired a new designer for a new logo, and I was excited that she can get moving on this right way. I’m nervous and excited — on the one hand, I love my current one, but on the other hand, I’m excited to see what she will come back with. For those who don’t blog, getting a new design is almost like picking out your wedding dress. You try on a ton, trying to find The One. There is this huge pressure to get it right because it will represent YOU for many years. It’s fun, stressful, exciting and nerve wracking all at the same time.

UPDATE: I woke up this morning to an email with a TON of logo concepts. I almost clapped my hands, I was so excited and relieved because a) I like them and b) I like lots of choices. Now to decide between them…

The day progressed. I spent an obscene amount of time on Facebook. My world continued to gently sway. I decided I don’t like being bored. Not one iota.

The kids got home, I put dinner in the oven, drove them to various lessons and practices and managed to fit in a glass of wine with a good friend. She got to hear all about my frustration with my site and my anxiety/obsession over waiting to see the new logo concepts. Why she sticks around, I have no idea.

Finally at about 9pm my site was working. What a relief! It’s not like I had any major deadlines looming or anything, but there’s something about having my website out of commission that just puts an extra layer of stress over everything.

I finally laid down in bed and snuggled with my wee one as I grabbed my phone for one last look at Facebook. And I came across this post (language alert). At least 4 of my friends had shard it, and while it looked like same-old, same-old, I went back and clocked just in case….

Oh my word, you guys. Pardon the language, but this is a do-not-miss. Hands down, the funniest thing I’ve read all year. I laughed until I was sobbing. My daughter was lying in bed next to me, and I think I scared her.

It was just so bang-on. And it couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time for me… with two back-to-back trips that took me away from my home and family, the anxiety over the website, the excitement over the new design, and trying to keep the home fires burning with this infernal vertigo that just will. not. go. away. I feel like I’m sleep walking thru each day.

The kids have bought school lunch 8 of the past 10 days.

Dinner has been a free for all.

Homework has been an afterthought.

The laundry hasn’t been touched in a week.

I haven’t showered since Tuesday, and my suitcase is still lying open on my bedroom floor… the contents of my trip to Costa Rica spilling out onto the floor. (The cleaning lady just vacuumed around it — she’s used to me and my sloppy ways.

Hey, if I leave it there for another two weeks, I can just fold it up again and take it with me to Turks & Caicos.

No, I do not expect anyone to feel sorry for me. I’m not even complaining. I know I’m living the dream. But that article… Oh, how I could relate.

So here’s to the moms who don’t slip Pinterest-perfect printables into their kids’ lunch boxes, who wear their pajamas till noon and have piles of dirty clothes forming a science experiment in the corner of the bathroom… at the end of the day, our kids know they’re loved, and that is enough.