Pillow Talk

Last night I was tucking my kids in bed, and I laid with my 3-year-old for some time. I love listening to her articulate such mature thoughts in her little baby voice. She wanted me to tell her a story, but I detest storytelling so I offered to sing to her. Fortunately for me, she acquiesced. Her attention span, however, was short-lived for in the middle of Holy Holy Holy, she stopped me to inform me that she wants God to be in church.

I stopped singing and explained that he IS in church, but we can’t seem him. I reminded her of the catechism question that she has learned that says that we cannot see God but he can always see us. Then she responded that she wanted him to be there in her room with us.

I assured her that he was, and I reminded her of the catechism question that says that God is everywhere. (How much do I love the catechism for teaching simple biblical truths?!)

But still, she wanted to SEE him. I agreed that I did too, but we would have to wait till heaven for that. Then she wanted to know if they would BOTH be in heaven — Jesus AND God. I assured her that they would.

Then she informed me that she wants me to buy her a radio. — not a little one, a big one. Because God and radios go together like peanut butter and jelly… Don’t you just love their stream of consciousness?

There was more, but it escapes me at the moment. I could have laid there and kissed on her sweet face forever, but my 6-year-old was waiting for her turn, so I tucked her in and planted one last kiss on her cheek and crossed the hall to C’s room.

C started talking to me about her friends at school. Then she informed me that a friend told her that the friend’s parents don’t like her because she talks too much. I’m here to tell you, pillow talk with a 3-year-old is much easier than pillow talk with a 6-year-old. I’d rather clarify complex theological truths to a 3-year-old 10 times over than explain to my 6-year-old why a so-called friend could be so intentionally mean. I assured her that I would rather have a child that talks too much than one who won’t speak up when adults talk to them.

She said she talks a lot because she is trying to learn. Insecurity was all over in her face, and I just wish I could make it all go away. I mean, she DOES talk too much. BUT SO DO I. Hello? Apple? Tree? 

I could have 10 more children, and I’d never have one more like me than this one. I feel her pain, and yet she will have to learn from her own experiences how to temper her enthusiasm, and sometimes it will STILL get the better of her… EVEN WHEN SHE’S 36.

Sometimes I hear myself rattling on and I think shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!  LOL.  It’s just how we’re wired, my daughter and me.

I also fear that I have a hand in perpetuating her insecurities because I am impatient and even harsh with her sometimes. I can only pray that God gives me the wisdom and grace to parent her in such a way as to build up her self-esteem and assist her in learning self control. I kissed her and tucked the sheets up under her chin and assured her that I love her just the way she is. Then I made my way down the hall to my 9-year-old son’s room.

D was sitting on his bed studying his globe. And right there is the difference between boys and girls. 

He wanted to know why Europe wasn’t on the globe. Yep, that’s my boy.  I shifted mental gears and sat down on his bed to discuss world geography. After determining that Europe was, indeed, on the globe, we located the other six continents. Then I declared it time to put away the globe and crawl into bed.

Boys are so much less complicated than girls. At least, at this age they seem to be. My challenge with him is maintaining our bond as he gets bigger and more independent. Fortunately he’s always been a softie. Even at 9, he’s not ashamed to give me a hug in public or tell me he loves me. I love that about him.

I know there will be a few years where that changes, but hopefully they will be short-lived. I pulled his little boy baseball sheets back and got him situated in his bed. Then I ruffled his stiff, boyish hair and plopped a kiss on his forehead and said, Goodnight.

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19 Responses

  1. I like pillow talk too. My almost-3-year-old daughter will rattle on and on when we’re just laying together. I can’t seem to get enough of it. I feel like any minute now she’ll say, “That’s ok Mom, you don’t have to lay with me.”

  2. How mean of that little girl’s parents to say that about your daughter 🙁 That makes me sad for her 🙁

    I need to spend more time doing that with my big boys. Thanks for the reminder.

    I, too, believe that boys are easier than girls – I believe God gave me 3 boys for that reason. He knows I’m not mentally equipped to handle all that comes with little girls.

  3. Ah Jo-Lynne, I love this pillow talk recap. you spent some quality time with each of your babes and I am sure it kept them “warm and cozy” all night long.

    love the 3 year old’s change from God to radios. preciously honest!

    double l and I usually snuggle and his chatter is more “trucks, blah, blah — words that are in his special toddler language, trains, etc…”

  4. Sweet. Well, most of it. I think what disappoints me the most is that those parents expressed their feelings so directly to their daughter about C. All of our kids have friends with quirks/personality traits that are not our favorite, but unless they are truly bad behaviors my kids will never know what we think. I can’t imagine how my kids would feel if we said something negative about one of their friends. I hope C rallies past this.

  5. I have a 6year old girl too and it is drama central. Wasn’t 5 so much simpler? This one little girl is her friend one day and not the next. I am trying to explain to her that friends don’t treat you like that. She just doesn’t get it. Good luck with your 6 year old drama!

  6. Oh, the pillow talk. Also so easy with my 3 year old and SO NOT with my 8 year old. I feel sorry for your daughter hearing what that family had said – there is so much wrong with that whole scenario – I don’t even know where to begin! Check out the Jamie Lee Curtis book I’m Gonna Like Me! That is a great book and I am sure your daughter will love it. She is perfect just the way she is

  7. I love the few minutes before bed that I have with Boo, Hunter ended that long ago the mean old boy. She tells the best stories, and can always make me wonder.

  8. Great pillow talk recap. Kids will open up so much more right before bed. At least my oldest does. He’s quiet as a mouse during dinner but boy can he go on and on at bedtime. Maybe he’s procrastinating but whatever it is, I love it and will enjoy it as long as he wants to talk.

    I agree – boys are way less drama.

  9. This was a fun post to read.

    That whole balance between building self-esteem and teaching self-control is delicate. It’s my biggest prayer request with my son – to have wisdom to do this right and to trust God in this area. Have to remember He sees the big picture.

  10. So sweet. What a great way to end your day – what a special bond you have with each one of your kids.

    I love this post – and I can’t wait until my daughter starts talking more. We have plenty of conversations now, but they mostly sound like this: “Hi! Bye! Kittykittykitty. Hi! Uh-oh! Rawr! (like a lion) Bye!”


  11. Loved these little peeks into their brains, so sweet–and perceptive. My A. must be a lot like your C. on the personality/chatty scale, but I agree that I’d rather my child be willing to talk with others–esp. grown-ups, than it be like pulling teeth to chat with them.

  12. Aww! The neighbor girl apparently wants to know why baby Jesus wasn’t in church at Christmastime. It is a tough question to answer!

    Very funny about your boy wanting to know about the globe.

    Very great post!

  13. I relate to so much of what you wrote…..I also talk too much, but my daughter is the opposite. She clams up and it can be hard to reach her when she’s decided to crawl inside herself. But let me tell you…when she does decide to open up, pillow talk with a 16-year-old is enough to make you want to crawl under her bed and DIE. The questions she asks…the things she overhears at school…the things her friends are doing…Oh my Lord, it’s so hard. I’m just very very thankful that we have such an open and honest relationship. (even though it means I have to hear things and have discussions I don’t always want to hear!!)

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