Does that title hook you in? On second thought, don’t answer that.
So I set out last night for a quick manicure. I don’t know about where you live, but around here there is a cheap nail salon on just about every corner. I have no idea how these places all stay in business. It’s convenient, though, as I tend to move around a lot. Whenever I get dissatisfied with a place, I just move across the street.
I say this like I get my nails done on a regular basis, which I do not. But that’s on my list of things to do when all my little ones are out of the house and I have both the time and the funds to justify that luxury. Of course by that time my hands will be so old and wrinkled that I’ll need more than a little nail polish to brighten my day.
But I digress.
So I’m driving along, belting out Hark The Herald Angels Sing with Martina, when I see ahead of me a very large deer flailing awkwardly across the middle of the road. There is a stream of traffic coming towards me in the other lane, and their horns blaring. I can see that the deer has already been injured. I’m coming right towards him, and he can’t get out of the way.
Now, I’ve hit a deer before. It did not end well. My car was practically totaled and the deer, well, totaled would pretty much sum up the situation for the deer as well.
Suffice it to say, I knew I did NOT want to hit this deer.
So I slammed on my breaks, but not in time. With a thump and a crunch, the deer disappeared from my sight and then appeared again in my rear view mirror. I watched the car behind me try to stop and swerve to no avail.
I have no idea how many times that poor deer was batted back and forth like a hockey puck before it finally found its resting place on the side of the road. It sort of reminded me of Jack Bauer. It kept getting knocked down and coming back for more.
Amazingly my car sustained little or no damage, and I managed to motor on to the nail salon, albeit a bit shaken up.
When I arrived, I blurted out the whole mishap. It’s the kind of place where everyone knows your name — like Cheers without Norm. Or the beer.
Everyone was appropriately horrified and concerned and, after I assured them that my car and I were fine, somewhat amused. Ironically Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer was playing on the boom box in the corner, which inspired several bad jokes at the poor deer’s expense. Or my expense, I’m not sure which.
Finally I settled into my chair and prepared myself for a few moments of pampering.
In my compromised emotional state, I somehow allowed the manicurist to convince me that a striking shade of midnight blue is “very fashion forward at the moment” and would be fabulous for the holiday party I’m attending tomorrow night.
It’s a bit of a departure from my usual french manicure, but it’s fun in an Elvira sort of way.