Those Dang New Years Resolutions!

New Years Resolutions are so last year. 

Did you notice that all the cool bloggers protested the New Years Resolution this year?  Do you like how I managed to include myself in the cool blogger category?  Even though I’ve never been in the cool crowd a day in my life.  But let’s not dwell on that.  I can’t afford therapy so I suppress.  I suppose I could afford therapy, but I’d have to give up shopping.  And we all know that ain’t happenin’.

So where was I?  Ah, the New Years Resolution.  Let’s face it, we’re getting too smart to fall for that old trick.  You know how it is, the dawning of a new year always seems so full of hope and new beginnings.  It’s easy to get carried away with all sorts of virtuous promises to read our Bibles daily, exercise eight days a week, recycle diligently, grow our own vegetables, give up chocolate, and fight world hunger. 

But everybody knows that no one ever keeps the promises of virtuosity they make in the first few days of a new year.  Yeah, sure, we all have good intentions, but you know what they say about those.  Ahem.

Well, evidently the New Years Resolution is alive and well in 2008.  I went to the gym Monday night.  Need I say more?

I had been warned that it was going to be a zoo come January.  All my gym rat friends promised me that it will lighten up again come February, but to be prepared to fight for a spot on the equipment during the month of January.

I might have known when it took me five minutes to find a parking spot that I should just give it up and go home.  Or to Marshall’s to check out the new arrivals in the shoe department.  But no.  I’m a determined little soul.  I persevered, and a parking spot eventually opened up.

Inside was wall-to-wall people.  I actually got stepped on when I was doing my ab work.  No lie!

And then I almost didn’t get a turn at the Pull Up/Dip machine, my fave.  I kept a hairy eyeball on it all night long, but it was always busy.  I almost skipped it and went home.  For some reason I always feel guilty using a machine that is in high demand.

But then I got to thinking.  Now wait just a minute here.  I’ve been coming here since September.  I’M the one who exercised faithfully all through the holidays when everyone else was procrastinating and saying, I’ll start working out in January.  This is MY turf.  Get the nerve of these people tying up my machines with their lofty New Years Resolutions!

Who’s still gonna be here in February?  And March and April and May?

Long after the the rest of you have gone and forgotten all about Auld Lang Syne and have returned to your slothful ways, I’ll be here, still be going strong.  I’m not going to let you intimidate me, Mr. America.

Of course, I don’t really feel that way.  I’m all for people getting into shape and keeping at it.  But I had to get myself pumped up to fight for my turn on my best machine. 

So even though I had already put away my clipboard and started gathering my things, I put everything down and headed back towards the Pull Up/Dip machine, and I stalked the burly dude that was hogging it
until he finally got off and let me have a turn. 

I’m sure he was wondering
what a scrawny little gal like myself was doing in this room full of muscle-bound gym rats.  Fortunately he didn’t ask, and I made haste so as not to tie up the machine any longer than necessary.

And then I left the gym and went home with the satisfaction of completion.  And I rewarded myself with a Lindt chocolate truffle.  Okay, so I may have had four.  See, this is why I don’t make resolutions.

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15 thoughts on “Those Dang New Years Resolutions!

  1. I am so proud of you, really. Just think, I knew you when they got the new weight training room at college and we went to “be trained” on the equipment. Do you remember that?? I remember C getting really annoyed with us because we were laughing about everything and then we couldn’t do the stairmaster fast enough to keep it going. I wish we had been into scrapbooking then, the pictures would be hysterical, although the picture in my head is cracking me up. Maybe I’ll go get on my treadmill or maybe not, last time I fell off.

  2. lol. you are such a silly. i love that you take a clipboard to the gym. good for you for staking your ground! i’m trying to become better at that.

    i was in Anthropologie shortly after Christmas strictly for a “clearance apron” that i had asked for for Christmas and didn’t get. so after i hauled my boyfriend to the car dealership to put his car in the shop, i forced him to go with, since i had never been there by myself and didn’t know how to get there. my car has no a/c, so we were driving with the windows down, and i sorta felt guilty cuz i thought my hair was flying in his face, and so i put it in a quick bun thing (you know the type). we get to Anthro, and there are people everywhere, and i told myself “i have just as much right to be here as everyone else, darnit. i’m getting my apron, and i’m going to shop in peace and not let anyone intimidate me”. so, i did. and i was happy, and not rude. and i checked out, and on the way back to the car i passed a window and realized that my hair was looking ROUGH, still in that awful bun thinger. and i snapped at my boyfriend “WHY did you let me walk around looking like this?!?” and he claimed he didn’t notice it. brat. but, i got my apron, took my hair back down, and probably promptly smacked him with my hair in his face the whole way home. that was his punishment. lol.

    sorry. just had to share.

  3. Way to hang tough girlfriend and not be intimidated by the crush of New Year Resolution Fitness crowds.(Or detoured by Marshall’s–that’s commitment!) It’s YOUR gym, you’ve been there longer. Hang in there, it will thin out in the next several weeks. I would’ve eaten the truffle too. Oh wait, I think I did!

  4. I suppose if all those people don’t get out of your way at the gym, you can go shopping and walk (or jog) miles through the stores, lifting full shopping bags for weights. I’m not sure about the ab thing though. Maybe try on a really tight pair of jeans and then lay on the floor and put on some kind of boots? I’m sure we could work out some kind of routine.

  5. January is definitely amateur month at the gym. Come February, they will be gone. Mondays seem to be the worst day at the gym too – all year long. It’s like people want to start the week right but by Thursday they all give up! Hang in there – the amateurs will be gone soon!

  6. Right there with ya. Resolutions and goals are WAY overrated.

    You go ahead and eat those truffles honey.


    The Enabler

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