Those Dang New Years Resolutions!

New Years Resolutions are so last year. 

Did you notice that all the cool bloggers protested the New Years Resolution this year?  Do you like how I managed to include myself in the cool blogger category?  Even though I’ve never been in the cool crowd a day in my life.  But let’s not dwell on that.  I can’t afford therapy so I suppress.  I suppose I could afford therapy, but I’d have to give up shopping.  And we all know that ain’t happenin’.

So where was I?  Ah, the New Years Resolution.  Let’s face it, we’re getting too smart to fall for that old trick.  You know how it is, the dawning of a new year always seems so full of hope and new beginnings.  It’s easy to get carried away with all sorts of virtuous promises to read our Bibles daily, exercise eight days a week, recycle diligently, grow our own vegetables, give up chocolate, and fight world hunger. 

But everybody knows that no one ever keeps the promises of virtuosity they make in the first few days of a new year.  Yeah, sure, we all have good intentions, but you know what they say about those.  Ahem.

Well, evidently the New Years Resolution is alive and well in 2008.  I went to the gym Monday night.  Need I say more?

I had been warned that it was going to be a zoo come January.  All my gym rat friends promised me that it will lighten up again come February, but to be prepared to fight for a spot on the equipment during the month of January.

I might have known when it took me five minutes to find a parking spot that I should just give it up and go home.  Or to Marshall’s to check out the new arrivals in the shoe department.  But no.  I’m a determined little soul.  I persevered, and a parking spot eventually opened up.

Inside was wall-to-wall people.  I actually got stepped on when I was doing my ab work.  No lie!

And then I almost didn’t get a turn at the Pull Up/Dip machine, my fave.  I kept a hairy eyeball on it all night long, but it was always busy.  I almost skipped it and went home.  For some reason I always feel guilty using a machine that is in high demand.

But then I got to thinking.  Now wait just a minute here.  I’ve been coming here since September.  I’M the one who exercised faithfully all through the holidays when everyone else was procrastinating and saying, I’ll start working out in January.  This is MY turf.  Get the nerve of these people tying up my machines with their lofty New Years Resolutions!

Who’s still gonna be here in February?  And March and April and May?

Long after the the rest of you have gone and forgotten all about Auld Lang Syne and have returned to your slothful ways, I’ll be here, still be going strong.  I’m not going to let you intimidate me, Mr. America.

Of course, I don’t really feel that way.  I’m all for people getting into shape and keeping at it.  But I had to get myself pumped up to fight for my turn on my best machine. 

So even though I had already put away my clipboard and started gathering my things, I put everything down and headed back towards the Pull Up/Dip machine, and I stalked the burly dude that was hogging it
until he finally got off and let me have a turn. 

I’m sure he was wondering
what a scrawny little gal like myself was doing in this room full of muscle-bound gym rats.  Fortunately he didn’t ask, and I made haste so as not to tie up the machine any longer than necessary.

And then I left the gym and went home with the satisfaction of completion.  And I rewarded myself with a Lindt chocolate truffle.  Okay, so I may have had four.  See, this is why I don’t make resolutions.